Father
by RubySandybanks
Summary: "It is not flesh and blood, but the heart which makes us fathers and sons." - The story of Apollo and his father Dhurke throughout the years.
1. Age One

**AN:** I always wanted to know more about Apollo's childhood and growing up with Dhurke and Nahyuta, so I decided to write a story about it. And I also used this opportunity to write baby!Apollo, because baby!Apollo is just precious and cute. 3

This work is not beta-read, so please feel free to tell me if you find any mistakes! :)

* * *

 **Age One**

"Are you sure that it will not be an inconvenience if I bring him with me?" Jove asks in a worried tone, cradling his currently sleeping infant son in his arms while picking up his guitar. "He's not in a very good mood today either… if you want, I can come another time, when my wife can take care of him, or…"

"It is quite alright," Dhurke assures him. "We're used to it anyway; our son wasn't the easiest baby either."

He laughs out loud at the memory, which causes the baby in Jove's arms to stir and lift his head.

"Well, it seems like someone's awake!" Dhurke reaches out his hand and softly ruffles the small child's brown hair. "Hello there, young man! Did you have a good nap?"

"His name's Apollo." There's quite a bit of pride in Jove's voice. "He'll turn one in July. Apollo, this is Dhurke, a friend of mine. Say hello."

The baby watches Dhurke with large and intelligent dark-brown eyes. "… 'lo."

"Nearly one year old, huh? Why, you're quite a big boy already, aren't you!"

Apollo furrows his brow a bit and it almost seems like he is considering what Dhurke has just said. Then, suddenly, he goes back to hiding his face against Jove's shoulder.

Jove smiles apologetically. "Sorry. As I said, he's a bit sulky today. Usually, you're a lot more cheerful than that, aren't you?" He gently rubs his son's back.

Apollo gives a very frustrated sounding sigh, and his tiny hands bury themselves in the fabric of his father's jacket.

Dhurke laughs. "Apparently, even babies have their off days, huh!"

They head off to the Royal Residence soon after, where Apollo shows a tiny bit of his cheerful side when meeting Dhurke's two-year-old son Nahyuta. However, much to Nahyuta's disappointment, the two don't get to play with each other, as it is Nahyuta's bedtime already; and it would be Apollo's as well, but he firmly – and loudly – protests against each of his father's attempts to put him to sleep. In the end, Jove gives up, and Apollo is allowed to sit in Dhurke's lap and listen to his father perform songs for him and his wife Amara. By the time he finishes the last song, Apollo is fast asleep, and Dhurke invites them to stay the night, showing Jove to a guest room where he and Apollo can stay in. When he is on his way back, he is met by a crying, distraught Nahyuta who has apparently had a bad dream. Any attempt of Dhurke to calm him down fails; he just continues to talk about how they need to leave, so Dhurke, takes him outside for a bit. They leave the Royal Residence and walk to the Tehm'pul Temple, and Dhurke shows his son a few star constellations, and finally, he seems to calm down.

By the time, they return to the Royal Residence, it is already on fire.

At first, Dhurke is in shock. He cannot move. He stares at the burning building, his home, hears the crackling sound of the fire, and smells the smoke, and then he looks around, and doesn't see Amara anywhere… nor Jove and Apollo… which means…

"Watch my son for a moment, would you?" he says to a member of the Royal Guard standing nearby, and the man barely has time to nod, before Dhurke turns and runs towards the building, and enters.

It is hot, he can barely see and the smoke fills his lungs almost immediately. Coughing, he calls out for Amara, as he tries to navigate his way to the kitchen where he has seen her when he was heading out with Nahyuta earlier. The sound of the roaring flames and falling debris is filling his ears… but he can also hear the faint sound of a baby crying, also seemingly coming from the direction of where the kitchen must be, which means they must all still be in there, as Jove would not have left without Apollo.

He does not know how he manages to find the way, but after a few minutes of stumbling through the smoke, he finds the doorknob and bursts open the door.

The smoke in here is not yet as thick as in the hallways, and he scans the room quickly. Amara is nowhere to be seen, but there is Apollo lying on the floor, crying, in front of him the slumped, unmoving body of Jove who has apparently passed out, one hand still reaching for his son. There's an empty bottle lying not far away from him.

Dhurke hurriedly kneels down, takes the baby into his arms and, with his free hand, shakes his friend's shoulder.

Jove doesn't move.

Dhurke shakes him harder.

Still no reaction.

Is he….? He can't be…!

He grabs his shoulder and turns him onto his back.

Jove's eyes are open, but blank, empty, and unseeing. Blood flows down his temple from a wound on the left side of his head.

 _He's dead_ , Dhurke realizes, feeling numb. Something struck him in the head, apparently a blunt object, and it struck him hard enough to kill him almost instantly.

His gaze falls onto the bottle. And he realizes again.

Not some _thing_ struck him _._ Some _one._ Someone has _killed_ him.

Which means… this has been somehow intended. This fire has been intended.

In his arms, Apollo, who is still crying, turns and reaches out for Jove, clearly wanting a hug, not understanding that his father will never be holding him again. Dhurke pulls him back, cradling him against his chest, and with his other hand carefully closes Jove's eyes, murmuring a Khura'inese blessing. Then, he hastily stands up, still holding Apollo close to him. He needs to get him out of here as quickly as possible, and then go back for Amara.

The way out feels even more endless then the way in. Three times, he is nearly hit by falling debris, and, if possible, the smoke is even thicker than before, making him feel like he is going to be smothered by it any second. When he finally stumbles outside and into the fresh air, everything he can do is sink to the ground and cough. Dimly, he registers hearing people run towards him; then someone puts their hand on his shoulder, and he manages to lift his head and sees Datz crouched down in front of him, a worried expression on his face, a frightened Nahyuta clutching his arm.

"Hey man, I thought you were never getting out of there, are you alright?"

"I'm – fine," Dhurke croaks between coughs. "Here – look after him for a moment – ", he lays Apollo into Datz's arms, "his father didn't make it – I need to go back for Amara – "

"What?! Come on, you can't go back in there, Dhurke, you'll never make it out again!"

"But – Amara – I couldn't find her, I have to – " He pulls himself upright with all his strength and tries to head for the residence again, but Datz holds him back.

"It's too late, Dhurke, there's nothing you can do anymore! Look, the place is nearly caving in!"

Dhurke grits his teeth and fights against the grip Datz has on his arm with all his strength. It's not too late! It can't be! There's a faint voice in his head saying that by now, the building is almost completely burned out and there's no way she can still be alive, but he doesn't care, he needs to go in and find her –

"Do you want Nahyuta to lose his father, too?!"

That makes Dhurke stop struggling. He looks at his son who is so small, shaking with fear, and is still only two years old. The thought of him being completely alone in this world… he cannot bear it.

His gaze is still fixed on the burning building, but he does not resist when Datz starts pulling him away, until they are in a safe distance. Nahyuta grabs his hand desperately, and, almost on instinct, he bends down and takes him into his arms.

"Want Mother," Nahyuta says, burying his head against Dhurke's chest. "Where's Mother?"

In the distance, the roof of the residence collapses with a loud crash.

"I'm sorry, Dhurke," he hears Datz say softly. "I'm so sorry."

* * *

"But you are really sure this place is safe, Datz, aren't you?"

"Absolutely positive. Nobody but me knows about it. They won't search for you here."

Dhurke nods. "Then we'll stay here. Won't we, boys?"

He doesn't get an answer. Nahyuta is intensely studying a dusty book he has found in a corner of the little house high up in the mountains that is their new home now, even though he cannot read yet, and Apollo is happily playing with the little plush dog Datz has brought him from the bazaar – a place that Dhurke is not likely to visit again anytime soon. He is a wanted man now. The people believe him to be the murderer of their previous queen and a manipulating lawyer who fabricates evidence, and he most likely will be arrested the second he is discovered by the new queen's henchmen.

An ear-shattering cry abruptly pulls Dhurke out of his thoughts: Nahyuta has apparently gotten tired of the book and is now trying to take the plush dog from Apollo in order to have a look at it, too, but Apollo is clinging to it with all his might, screaming at the top of his lungs.

"Nahyuta, let him have it." Dhurke gets up from his chair, walks over to where they are sitting on the floor, and gently tugs his son's hand away from the toy.

Nahyuta pouts. "Want doggy."

"You can play with it, too, son, but let him finish playing with it first. It's his toy after all."

The boy is still pouting at him. Then he jumps to his feet, grabs his book, and runs into the direction of the bedroom he is currently sharing with Apollo.

Dhurke sighs, and is about to go back, but Apollo lets out another protesting scream and holds out his little arms for a hug, so he picks him up and carries him over to the table, where he settles himself in his chair again, and sits him in his lap.

"That's quite the voice you have there, young man," he tells him. Apollo looks at him with his large, innocent eyes, then his face breaks into a smile and he giggles.

Datz laughs. "You can say that again! That baby's got chords of steel!"

Apollo giggles again. " 'eel," he says, sounding almost proud. Dhurke smiles and ruffles his hair.

"So…" Datz's expression is serious again. "…I have some bad news concerning AJ. I haven't found his mum."

"Oh."

Dhurke has been expecting this. After all, the only thing Jove has told him about his wife has been that she is some kind of performer as well, and that they are both from the US.

"Yeah…" Datz buries his face in his hand. "I think she heard that her husband has died during the fire, and, because she knew AJ was with him, she just assumed that he also died. I can't imagine the police would have been much help to her either, they were in complete chaos after the arson, with the assassination of the queen and all. So maybe, she just gave up in the end and went back to the US."

Dhurke looks at Apollo babbling to himself while playing with the hem of his shirt, and sighs. "So, his mother is pretty much gone, too, huh… well, our chances of finding her have been slim from the very beginning, anyway. Without a name or a face or anything to go by..."

"Yeah… poor little AJ… whatever's going to happen to him now?"

Dhurke sighs. "Well, he certainly will not be going to any orphanage, that much I'm sure of."

It is too dangerous. Someone, likely the arsonist who is also very likely inside the new regime, has already killed his father and left Apollo to die. And if that someone would find out that Apollo has survived and is living in the orphanage, what will stop them from finishing what they have started? Whoever it is, they have already shown that they haven't got any problem with killing a baby.

"So, what are you gonna do then?" Datz asks. "Maybe we could find a family who's willing to take him in. Do you want me to have a look around?"

In his lap, Apollo has now grabbed one of Dhurke's hands, examining it with a very concentrated expression on his face. "Oh," he says, tilting his head questioningly, when he presses one of his little hands against Dhurke's palm, probably wondering why Dhurke's hand is so much bigger compared to his own. Then he looks up at him and smiles brightly, and a strange feeling fills Dhurke's heart. He feels… almost proud of him.

"…I'll think about it," he says.

By the time Datz has left, it is already dark, and both children are in bed. Dhurke is on his way to his own bedroom, when he passes the door of the boys' room and hears the faint sound of one of the boys apparently talking. He quietly opens the door.

Nahyuta is fast asleep, but Apollo seems to be wide awake. He's sitting in his makeshift crib, softly singing to himself while playing with a corner of his blanket. Dhurke cannot help but smile. "Hey, young man. Still awake, I see."

As soon as he sees him, Apollo beams and holds out his arms, motioning for him to pick him up.

Dhurke sighs. "You really should be sleeping already, young man." But he takes him into his arms anyway, carries him out of the room and back into the little living-room where he settles himself in the old rocking chair, Apollo sitting on his lap.

"So, why are you still up, young man? Don't feel like sleeping?"

Apollo babbles something.

Dhurke nods seriously. "I see."

Apollo excitedly continues talking in his own little language. Dhurke nods along with whatever story he is telling him, watches him gesture dramatically with his hands, and feels that sense of pride again. He thinks about having to give him away to a family he does not know. He thinks about never seeing him again. And he knows that he will not be able to do this. He knows that he won't be able to give Apollo away, even if Datz found the perfect family for him. Because somehow, over the last few weeks, this small child has become his own flesh and blood. His son. And there is no way he is giving his son away to some strangers.

Suddenly, Dhurke realizes that Apollo has stopped talking and is now watching him, his big, dark-brown eyes bearing a very serious expression. He clears his throat. "Sorry," he says, "got a bit carried away there. What was it you were telling me again?"

Apollo makes a noise that almost sounds like a little huff. Then his eyes light up, and his little hands start reaching for the attorney's badge fastened onto Dhurke's collar. He squeals when, just before he is able to get hold of it, Dhurke catches his tiny fingers in his hands. Dhurke laughs.

"Not even a year old, and already a little rebel who tries to steal his father's attorney's badge. You're truly taking after me, son!"


	2. Age Three

**AN:** Many thanks to trearoos for your comment! :)

* * *

 **Age Three**

"Nahyuta! Apollo! Come on in, it's almost your bedtime, boys!" Dhurke calls. He picks up Nahyuta's storybook that he has left on the small bench next to the back door this morning, and goes back inside and into the kids' room, where he lays it on the small nightstand Nahyuta and Apollo share.

"Dhurke!" He hears small footsteps running up to him, and Nahyuta tugs at his sleeve. "Apollo's up in the tree. He says he's not going to go to bed, no matter what."

Dhurke follows his son back outside to the nearby oak tree. Apollo is sitting on a branch not very high up and when he sees Dhurke approaching, he pulls another branch towards himself and attempts to hide behind it.

Dhurke laughs. "I can still see you, son!"

"Not comin' down!"

"That's a shame. You know, I made some hot chocolate for you boys to have before bed..."

"Hot chocolate?"the children cry out in unison.

"Yes, but I guess yours will be Dhurke's chocolate if you're not coming down soon, Apollo. Hah-ha ha ha ha ha!"

Apollo hesitantly peeks out from behind the branch. "But I have t' go t' bed if I come down."

"Well... yes, eventually."

The little boy's face disappears again. "I'm not comin'!"

Dhurke sighs. "Why don't you go on inside, Nahyuta? Your brother and I will be joining you in no time," he says to the boy.

"Yes, Father." Nahyuta runs back towards the shack, and Dhurke turns back to his younger son who is still hiding behind the branch.

"Alright, son, we really have to hurry now, or your hot chocolate's going to be cold."

"I ain't goin' t' bed! It's bad in there an' I don't wanna go there anymore!"

"Oh son, whatever's the matter? You didn't have any problems with going to bed yesterday, so why is it bad all of the sudden?"

Apollo slowly lowers the branch. "You won' tell 'Yuta if I tell? Cause if he knows, he'll treat me like a baby again."

"I won't tell him, son. This will stay secret."

Apollo beams. "Yeah! Our secret!" His expression then falls again as something apparently crosses his mind. "But 'Yuta always says secrets have t' be whispered into the other's ear. Otherwise, it's no real secret, he says."

"Hmmm… I think your brother's right about that, son."

"But I can't whisper it t' you if you're down there."

Dhurke holds out his arms. "Well, how about you come here then, son?"

Apollo considers, chewing his bottom lip. Then he smiles. "Okay!"

He jumps, and Dhurke catches him and spins him through the air again and again, causing him to scream with laughter. Eventually, they sit down on the grass, Apollo climbing onto Dhurke's lap.

"Now, son. What is it that makes you not want to go to bed anymore?"

Apollo cautiously takes a look around, obviously searching for any unwanted listeners, even though they are completely alone out here, now that Nahyuta's back inside, before he answers in a whisper: "Las' night, there were really bad things happening."

"Really? What things?"

"There was real bad burning. With huge flames 'n all. An' I was all alone an' I couldn' find 'Yuta or you 'cause it was burnin' so bad. An' when I opened my eyes t' call you, suddenly, it was all gone." He sniffles. "It was real scary, and I don' wanna go back there ever again!"

"Oh son." Dhurke pulls the boy into his arms. "You apparently had a nightmare."

"What's a nigh-mare?"

"It's a bad dream."

"But it was burning, Dhurke! Real bad! An' if I go back to bed, it'll burn again!"

"No, son. It was just a dream. Remember what I told you about dreams?"

"Um… they're not real, you said."

"Exactly. There was never any fire. It was just your imagination, son. Your bed is still quite safe. Trust me."

"Okay… But what if _real_ fire comes?"

"Don't worry, son. There will be no real fire. And if there is, I'll protect you and your brother."

Apollo pulls back slightly and looks at him with wide eyes. "Really?"

"Yes. And Apollo? If you're having bad dreams again, or you're scared, I want you to know that you can always come to me. Okay?"

"O-Okay!"

It's astounding how much Apollo resembles Jove already, Dhurke thinks to himself. He even has inherited the two strands of hair which keep falling into his forehead.

This nightmare, and this strong fear of fire – it can't possibly result from him subconsciously remembering that incident… can it?

…No. He has only been one year old when it happened. He cannot possibly remember this. Not even subconsciously.

"Good. " Dhurke gently tousles his son's hair. "Now how about we go back inside? I'm sure that if we leave your brother alone for another few minutes, he'll help himself to your hot chocolate as well as the cookies."

Apollo lets out a shocked screech, jumps to his feet and dashes off, Dhurke following him, laughing to himself about how protective each of his children are of their food or sweets.

However, it turns out he has not been so far off with his statement after all, for when he enters the living-room a moment later, Apollo's hot chocolate is still sitting on the table, untouched, but there's Nahyuta, frozen in place, holding the now empty cookie jar in his hands.

"'m inn'cent," he says helplessly with his mouth still full.

Dhurke spends the rest of the evening keeping the boys from fighting, and promising Apollo to get new cookies.

* * *

It's the middle of the night, when Dhurke wakes up from the creak of his bedroom door slowly opening, and a small voice whispering: "…Dhurke?"

He switches on the bedside lamp. Apollo's standing in the doorframe, tears flowing down his cheeks.

"The f-fire's bein' there again, a-an'…"

Dhurke lifts his blanket, and pats onto the mattress. "It's alright, son. Come here."

Apollo climbs onto the bed, crawls beneath the covers and practically throws himself into Dhurke's arms, his small hands desperately searching purchase in the fabric of Dhurke's shirt, his body still slightly shivering in fear. Dhurke holds him tight and soothingly rubs his back.

"Shhh. It's okay now, Apollo. You're safe, I've got you."

For a moment, he feels like it is two weeks after the fire again, and he is holding the one-year-old after he has once again woken up crying, calming him down and desperately wishing he could shield him from all the horror and sadness that has been weighing on their lives ever since that day.

"'m sorry I woke you up," Apollo sobs against his chest.

"Don't apologize for that, son, it's alright. I did tell you to come to me when you're scared, didn't I?"

Apollo sniffles.

"Now, son, do you want me to sing you a song, so that you're no longer scared?"

Apollo presses closer to his chest and nods. "I like songs."

Dhurke laughs, ruffles his hair and thinks about what he can sing to him. He knows many children's songs, but he is not sure which one will be most suited to calm Apollo down. Then, he remembers something from a few years ago.

* * *

" _It's been ages since I last heard someone sing that last song", Dhurke says, sipping at his drink thoughtfully. "It's not very well known anymore."_

" _Really? But I thought it was a classic Khura'inese lullaby for children."_

" _It is. Or, to be more exact, it was. It is a very, very old song, and somehow, it was sung less and less throughout the ages, with the consequence that today, there are only very few who still know of it."  
"Well, that's a pity. I think it's a beautiful song."_

" _I agree. But really, I'm curious, how did you come to know it? You've not been to Khura'in very often before, have you?"_

 _Jove laughs. "No, to be honest, this is my first visit. But when you travel the world, you get to hear music of all sorts of origins. I heard another musician perform it while we were in Japan, and I couldn't get it out of my head, so I asked him to write down the lyrics for me. But up to this day, I only sang it for my son to put him to sleep, so this is actually the first time I have performed it publicly."_

* * *

Smiling, Dhurke starts to sing. With every word, he can feel Apollo's shivering lessen, and his breathing calm down. His hands loosen their tight grip on the fabric of Dhurke's shirt, as he listens to the song.

By the time Dhurke reaches the last verse, Apollo has fallen asleep.


	3. Age Five

**Age Five**

"Apollo!" Nahyuta hammers on the bathroom door. "Apollo, come on, let's go play!"

"No! Can't come out yet! Sorry!"

Nahyuta huffs. "What are you doing in there anyway?" He crosses his arms. "…You are doing something you shouldn't do, aren't you?"

"N-No, I'm not!" Suddenly, his brother sounds panicked and very much like he's been found out.

Nahyuta yanks the door open. Apollo is frozen in place, standing on a little stool in front of the mirror, a familiar bottle in his hands.

Nahyuta gasps. "You've used Dhurke's hair stuff, haven't you!" He pulls the bottle out of Apollo's hands. "That's not nice, Apollo!"

"But Dhurke said the stuff is for annoying hair! And my hair _is_ annoying!" Apollo pouts.

"You should have asked first! It's very bad to just use people's stuff without asking first!"

"You use stuff all the time without asking!"

"That's different! I may do that because I am older than you! And by the way, now you look like you have horns on your head!" Nahyuta points to the two strands of hair that usually fall into his eyes and are now slicked with the stuff, standing up straight into the air.

"No, I don't!"

"Yes, you do, you look like a demon! That must the punishment from the Holy Mother!"

Apollo's bottom lip starts to tremble. "It's not! You're so mean!" He pushes past him and dashes away into their shared bedroom.

"…H-Hey, wait!" Nahyuta follows him quickly. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, _ono'ro mit-sa_." He hugs him. "I should not have said that _._ "

Apollo sniffles and returns the hug. "'s alright. …What did you wanna go play?"

Nahyuta pulls back, his eyes shining with excitement. "That's what I wanted to tell you. Dhurke has gone fishing, and he's allowed us to go outside today, too!"

Apollo's eyes grow big. "WOW! We can go OUTSIDE?!"

"Apollo! Dhurke told you, no chords of steel inside the house!"

" _Nasai mian'ha_ ," Apollo says half-heartedly. "But we haven't been outside for ages. Are the bad guys gone then?"

A few weeks ago, there have apparently been some regime guys around, and since then, Dhurke has forbidden them to play outside. "At least until I'm sure that it's safe again, boys," he has said, "because what if the bad guys catch you? It would be very lonely for me, if my two rascals weren't around to cause trouble anymore, wouldn't it? I would probably bore myself to death. Hah-ha ha ha ha ha!"

"Well, Dhurke said it should be safe, so we can go play ' _Run from the Regime!'_ again!"

Apollo cheers happily, grabs Nahyuta's hand and they race outside, heading for the big meadow near the river which is their favourite place for playing.

"I'm gonna be the Defiant Dragons first!" Apollo declares proudly.

Nahyuta frowns. "I don't want to be the regime! You be the regime first!"

"No! You were being mean to me, so I have a right to be the Defiant Dragons first!"

"…Fine. But after that, we swap!"

Apollo beams. "Deal! C'mon, let's start."

As usual, Nahyuta covers his eyes and starts to count to thirty – they always do that in order to give the other a head start. Apollo runs away as fast as his feet can carry him, stopping near the forest, frantically searching for a direction to run into that the regime will not figure out so easily. Maybe into the forest? …No, he's already gone in there last time. Back to the house? He could hide in the little shed that Dhurke has built next to their house, where they keep their firewood and Dhurke's hunting things in. But that would be against the rules of the game, wouldn't it? Apollo presses his finger against his forehead, thinking. Does ' _no going inside'_ include the shed or only the house? After all, the shed is not really a house, is it? So it's not 'going inside' if he hides in there. He is just about to start running towards it when he suddenly remembers the second rule of the game: _'no hiding'._

"…twenty-eight… twenty-nine…thirty! I am the bad queen, and I'm going to _get you_!"

Apollo jumps in shock. He has stood there for so long, thinking about where to go, that he has completely wasted the head start the regime has given him! Now, he's going to be caught for sure! "NO, YOU'RE NOOOT!" he answers, frantically searching for somewhere to go. He can hear the regime come closer.

"Where aaare you, Defiant Dragons? I'm going to caaatch you!"

"NEVER! LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION!" Apollo makes a dash for the river, his eyes fixing on the rocks that separate the riverbank from the rushing water. Dhurke has forbidden Nahyuta and him to play too close to the river. "It's too dangerous for you boys," he had said. "The river has very strong currents and if you were to fall in, you would never make it back to the shore."

"I fooouund you, insurgents!" The regime has almost reached him, running towards him so fast. It will catch him! In a fit of desperation, Apollo quickly climbs onto one of the rocks. He knows his brother doesn't like the river, and the rocks are directly above it, so he will never follow him there, and that means the regime won't either. "YOU'LL NEVER GET ME!" he declares.

Nahyuta stops dead in his tracks. "H-Hey! That's against the rules!"

"It's not! I'm not inside, and I'm not hiding either!"

"But we're not allowed to go there! _Ata'oji_ told us not to go too close to the river, it's dangerous!"

"It's not! I'm just standing on a rock!"

"But it's slippery! Look at all the moss that's growing on it, it's probably still soaked from last night's rain!"

Apollo looks down and sees that Nahyuta is right. It _does_ look slippery.

"You see? Come down there, _ono'ro mit-sa_ , before you fall off!"

"No! You only want to catch me!"

"If you don't come down this instant, I'll go tell Dhurke!"

Apollo chews on his lip, weighing his options. If he climbs down, Nahyuta will catch him. But if he doesn't climb down, _Ata'oji_ will be cross with him when Nahyuta tells him Apollo has gone so close to the river…

Huffing, he reluctantly starts to climb down again, but he has barely moved an inch, when his foot slips on a patch of the moss, and he stumbles. Nahyuta rushes forward, one hand reached out in an attempt to steady him, but it's too late – Apollo has already lost his balance, and he's falling, and he's screaming, and then he's in water, faintly hearing his brother's voice calling his name and calling for Dhurke, before the rapids pull him in and away from the shore. The only thing he can hear now is the water, it's so loud and strong and _terrifying,_ and he reaches out to grab onto something, anything, but he can only see the water. Suddenly, somebody grabs his hand, and he turns his head to the side and sees Nahyuta – he must have jumped after him, he's going to protect him from the bad water; after all, he, unlike Apollo, already knows how to swim – but the water is too strong and tears Apollo's hand out of his brother's grip, sweeping him away from him. From there, it's only screams and his head being pulled underwater and him reaching out for Nahyuta again and again, until their father's strong arm wraps around him and he carries both his brother and him to safety.

* * *

"Now, now, Apollo, it's alright." They are all back inside now, Dhurke has lit the fireplace and is now wrapping blankets around the boys, who, even though they've already changed into dry clothes, are still shivering with cold. "You're safe now."

"B-But it's all my fault, Dhurke!" Apollo's eyes are still brimming with tears. "I slipped off that rock a-and…"

"Oh son, slipping off a rock could happen to anyone. Don't beat yourself up over it. Just remember to not get too close to the riverside again, alright? Good. Now, are you hungry, boys? I haven't caught any fish yet, so sashimi is out, but how about I make us some sandwiches?"

The boys nod eagerly. Dhurke smiles, ruffles Nahyuta's hair and disappears into the kitchen.

For a few minutes, the only sounds that can be heard is the crackling of the fire and the clatter of dishes from the kitchen.

"…'Yuta?"

"Yes?"

"…Why did you jump in after me?"

Nahyuta glances at him in the way he always does when Apollo has asked a really stupid question to which the answer should be obvious. "To get you out, why else?"

"But why? You're scared of the river."

"Because the current was pulling you away and it was dangerous and it's my duty as big brother to protect you."

"But you were pulled away, too."

His brother frowns. "I… didn't think of that beforehand. I just wanted to get you out."

Apollo looks at him with large eyes, then throws his arms around him. "You're silly, _ono'ro ke-un._ "

Nahyuta huffs, but hugs him back.

"Love you, 'Yuta."

"Love you too, _ono'ro mit-sa._ "

"Alright, boys, food's ready! Better come before _Ata'oji_ eats it all by himself!"

They look at each other with horrified expressions, then dash into the kitchen where Dhurke has set out a tray laden with sandwiches and a plate for each one of them.

"By the way, what happened to your hair, son?" Dhurke points to Apollo's two strands, that are somehow still sticking up after all of that.

"N-Nothing!"

"He used your hair stuff this morning," Nahyuta says with a smug smile, promptly getting a shove into his side by an angry Apollo. "Traitor!"

Dhurke laughs. "It's alright, son, you can use it. But this is an interesting way to do your hair. You look like you have horns on your head! Hah-ha ha ha ha ha!"

* * *

 **Translations:  
**

 _ono'ro mit-sa –_ little brother

 _Nasai mian'ha._ – I'm sorry.

 _Ata'oji_ – Dad

 _ono'ro ke-un_ – big brother


	4. Age Seven

**Age Seven**

It's so quiet in their little house with both the children gone, Dhurke thinks. Datz has taken them on a trip into the capital, to which the boys have been looking forward to for days – after all, there are not many opportunities for them to see the world beyond the forest, river and mountains that they live next to. Dhurke is very strict when it comes to letting his children go into town. After all, even though years have passed since the fire, he is still on top of the country's most wanted criminals list, especially after establishing the rapidly growing revolutionary group of the _Defiant Dragons_ a few years back; and he knows the queen would certainly not hesitate from taking his children hostage just to draw him out.

It is Apollo he worries about the most. For him, there is not only the danger from Queen Ga'ran's goons, but also the danger from another. Dhurke still has not managed to uncover the identity of Jove's killer and their motive to kill him, and as long as those things remain in the shadows, he has to assume that there is still someone out there waiting for a chance to finish what they have started. Of course, they may have assumed that Apollo died in the fire – a baby normally has no chance of escaping a burning building after all – but one look at him would tell them the whole story. He is the spitting image of his father, except for those two strands of hair being gelled up instead of falling into his forehead.

Dhurke knows he cannot just keep Apollo here in the mountains where he is far away from anyone who might want to harm him. The boy has to see the world beyond their home. But he is sure that the killer and the arsonist who set the palace on fire are one and the same person, and that this person is deep inside the Ga'ran regime, which means that every time his son sets foot into the capital, he could be seen and recognized by them. And that thought alone makes Dhurke want to run after them and take Apollo back home as quickly as possible.

Maybe Datz is right and the permanent state of being on the run is starting to take its toll on Dhurke, making him become more and more paranoid. Maybe his worries really are unfounded – for all he knows, that person could have fled the country a long time ago already, in fear of being caught. But he cannot ignore that his intuition tells him otherwise – that they are still here in Khura'in, hidden and protected by the very regime itself. And sometimes, he cannot help but ask himself if keeping Apollo here with him is selfish. After all, technically, Apollo would be safer in his birth country, the United States. There, no regime would be terrorizing him because of his father's rebellion, and the arsonist surely would not take it upon themselves to cross half the world just to get their hands on him, especially because abroad, they could not have the protection from the Khura'inese regime. In the US, Apollo would finally have the chance of living a peaceful childhood and adult life, without the constant fear of being discovered that has been looming over all three of them ever since that day.

But he is only seven years old. He has got no known family in that big, strange country, nobody who could take care of him. There is no way Dhurke can do this. He cannot send his son off to some strange country all on his own. Perhaps, it really is selfish of him, but he just cannot bear the thought of having to part from his son for possibly forever, as it is impossible to just go to the airport and board a plane to visit him as a wanted man.

No, Apollo is going to stay here. They are going to manage this somehow, they have to. They are a family and they are going to stay together, no matter what comes.

Suddenly he hears a car pulling up outside. He is just about to disappear into his usual hiding spot, just in case it is some of Ga'ran's henchmen coming to search the area, when he hears the car doors slam, footsteps approaching and an all-too-familiar voice saying "In you go."

Alarmed, Dhurke looks at the clock. They are not supposed to be back already. In three strides, he is at the front door, opens it, and is met with the sight of his sons. Apollo has obviously been crying, and Nahyuta has his arms crossed and is stubbornly avoiding eye contact.

"Hey you two, are you alright? Why are you back so soon?" He looks at Datz. "Did something happen?"

"You could say that," Datz answers, nodding into the direction of Apollo. "AJ caused quite some trouble. Apparently, he thought it would be a good idea to snuck off to the Royal Residence while I wasn't looking, and sing the revolution song in front of the gates of Ga'ran Palace."

"What?! _Is this true, Apollo?_ "

The boy shrinks under his father's glare and nods slightly.

"You do remember what I told you about the palace and the Royal Residence?"

"…To…not go near it…"

"And what did I tell you about the revolution thing?"

"…T-To not do it in public…"

"Exactly! Do you even understand in how much danger you were? They could have caught and imprisoned you! You could even have been – " Dhurke cuts himself off and shakes his head. "Go to your room, I'll come speak to you later."

Head bowed, Apollo walks inside on unsteady legs and when he reaches his and Nahyuta's room, he closes the door behind him and curls up on his cot, shaking. That's it. Now, Dhurke is surely going to send him away. After all, Apollo's only here because his real parents have left him. And they have obviously left because they did not want him anymore, maybe because he has been bad back then, too. And now, Apollo has been bad again and Dhurke is going to leave him, too. He's going to be all alone, he thinks and buries his head in his pillow. He doesn't want to be alone!

He doesn't know for how long he lays there, trying to keep the overwhelming fear at bay; to him, it feels like ages. Finally, he hears the door open and close again and sits up. Dhurke's standing there, looking at him with a very serious expression. For a moment, neither of them speaks. Then, Dhurke sighs and sits down next to him.

"Son, you know that what you did was very dangerous, don't you?"

"…Yeah…"

"You know the regime guys are evil and are still out to catch you or Nahyuta or Uncle Datz or me. And that when you're in the capital, you're supposed to stay away from their places, such as Ga'ran palace. And that everything about the revolution and the Defiant Dragons is a secret and it's very dangerous to say something about it in the capital, let alone sing the revolution song."

"I know…"

"And by doing what you did, you not only endangered yourself, but Uncle Datz and Nahyuta as well."

Apollo winces and lowers his head. He hasn't thought of that until now, but it's true. The bad guys could have caught Nahyuta and Uncle Datz, because he has drawn attention to all of them. And if they would have caught them, it would all have been his fault! His eyes start to burn again.

"I really don't understand why you would do such a thing, son. It's not like you at all."

"I-I…", Apollo desperately searches for words, "I j-just wanted to prove Nahyuta w-wrong…"

"Prove him wrong? In what matter?"

"H-He said I wasn't a real dragon because I was scared of the bad queen's fighter guys… a real dragon wouldn't be scared of anything, he said… and… and I wanted to prove him that I wasn't scared…"

Dhurke is silent for a few moments. "I see," he says eventually. "And you believe what your brother said? About how a real dragon would not be scared of anything?"

"Yeah. Nahyuta's always right about everything."

Dhurke cannot suppress a smile at that. "Nobody's always right about everything. Though Nahyuta likes to pretend that he is, that's for sure." He lays a hand on Apollo's shoulder. "Now, son, I want you to listen to me very carefully, alright? To be a dragon does not mean that you're not scared of anything. Even I am scared of some things."

"Y-You are?"

"Of course, son. There's nobody in the world who isn't scared of anything. Being scared is natural, there's nothing wrong about it. You shouldn't take everything your brother says seriously. And you certainly should not put yourself in such grave danger just to prove him wrong, alright?"

Apollo nods.

"Good." Dhurke ruffles his hair. "Now, how about we all have some _magatah'mans_? Uncle Datz brought some from the bazaar."

"You're not going to send me away?"

The question catches Dhurke off guard so much that it renders him speechless for a few seconds. Apollo is looking at him with a timid but hopeful expression, while fidgeting with the fabric of his sleeve, waiting for an answer. He definitely does not appear to be joking.

"What – why do you think I would do that, son?"

"Because," Apollo nervously bites his lip, "because you're not my real _Ata'oji_ , and I'm only here because my real _Ata'oji_ and my _Nahna'oji_ have left because I've been bad, and now I've been bad again, and – "

"Hey, hey, slow down there, son. Where did you get all that?"

Apollo hesitates, still chewing on his bottom lip. "From Nahyuta," he says.

"Nahyuta?" Dhurke has not expected that at all. "Why did he tell you something like that?"

The boy lowers his head. "He was acting all pompous again and wouldn't play _Hide and Seek_ with me, so I might 've… I might 've started peeving him a bit, because it made me angry," he mutters. "And then he said I'm only staying with you because my real parents have left me, so I should watch myself and not be bad."

Dhurke feels himself become quite cross with his older son, and shakes his head. "He shouldn't say such a thing, no matter how annoyed he is with you. I'll talk to him later."

"So, what he said isn't true?"

"Well…", Dhurke clears his throat, "I'm afraid it is partially true. It is true that you are not my birth son and I took you in after your true parents were gone."

"…Oh." Apollo deflates and his eyes fill with sadness. "Okay."

"But." Dhurke wraps an arm around his shoulders, causing him to look at him again. "It is not true that your parents left you because you had been bad or because they didn't want you."

"…But why did they leave then?"

"They… well…"

Dhurke wracks his brain for the right words. Apollo is only seven. He has to make sure that he still understands what he is telling him without being overwhelmed or traumatized by it.

"You see," he begins, "I was friends with your father. He was a musician; he played guitar and sang songs for others to enjoy. And because his music was very good, I invited him over to my place to play some songs. He brought you with him, you were still just a baby. And then, that night, there was a big fire."

"The fire that took away your at-ur-neeh job?"

"Yes, that one. You and your father were in the building when it broke out, and your father did everything he could to protect you and get you both out of there. But in the process, he was stopped by someone else and… he had to leave you to go to the Twilight Realm."

Apollo frowns. "The Twi-light… oh! It's the place Nahyuta keeps telling me about!" He pauses. "But… why did he go there?"

"Well, you see, he had no choice. He was forced to go there."

"Why?"

Dhurke sighs. "I don't know, son. I wish I would."

"But why doesn't he just come back from the Twilight place?"

"Well… it's because the Twilight Realm is a special place, son. When you go there, you can't ever come back here."

"Oh."

"So, do you understand what I'm trying to tell you, son? Your _Ata'oji_ didn't leave you because you did something wrong or he didn't want you. He loved you and tried to protect you until the very last moment."

"Oh… and what about my _Nahna'oji_?"

"The fire caused quite some chaos, and she didn't know where you were and couldn't find you. And because of that, I guess she assumed you went to the Twilight Realm with your father, so she gave up and probably returned to the United States. That's a big country in the west, where both of your parents were originally from," he adds at Apollo's confused look.

"So… she didn't leave because I was bad either?"

"No, son, she didn't and your father didn't. You mustn't keep thinking such things. And you also mustn't keep thinking that I will send you away if you're bad, because that's not true either."

"B-But… I'm not your real son, and…"

"Apollo," Dhurke says firmly, "that does not make any difference. You are as much my son as Nahyuta is. You may not be my son by blood, but you are my son by heart, spirit and soul. And I won't send you away, no matter what. Alright?"

Apollo nods, eyes watery. "O-Okay…" He fiddles with his sleeve, and then looks up to Dhurke again. "So, can I… can I still call you _Ata'oji_?" he asks tentatively.

"Oh son," Dhurke pulls Apollo into his arms. "Of course you can."

Apollo clings to him and buries his head against Dhurke's chest. "Good."

Dhurke holds him tighter, fervently hoping that he will be able to be true to his word: to never send his son away, no matter what happens.

* * *

 **Translations:**

 _Nahna'oji_ – Mum


	5. Age Nine

**Age Nine**

"OBJECTION!" Apollo accusingly points at his brother who is standing on the opposite side of the table. "You don't have any evidence that the accused's statement is the truth! In fact, _I_ have proof that he's lying!" He pulls a marble out of his pocket, holds it up and is pleased with himself when he sees that this clearly catches Nahyuta unawares.

They are playing ' _trial'_ , their second favourite game after ' _Run from the Regime!_ '. It has been pouring with rain the whole day, and Apollo is not in a very good mood because he has to play the prosecutor again. Nahyuta says that he's going to get to decide who is who because he is older than Apollo, and he always wants to be the defence attorney, so Apollo always has to be the stupid prosecutor. It's not fair! He wants to be the defence sometimes, too!

Suddenly, Nahyuta reaches across the table, whips the marble out of Apollo's hand and pushes it into his own pocket. "I don't see any evidence!" he says triumphantly.

"H-Hey!" Apollo protests. "That's against the rules! Dhurke, Nahyuta stole the evidence!"

Dhurke, who is sitting in the rocking chair reading a book, looks up. "Did he now?"

"Yeah! He just put it into his pocket and then said there wasn't any evidence!"

"Well, that certainly is a unique kind of counterargument, Nahyuta! I've never even thought of that back when I was still practicing law! Hah-ha ha ha ha ha!"

"You see?" His brother has still got that smug expression on his face and it's so unbelievingly irritating.

"But Dhurke!" Apollo insists. "It's forbidden to steal evidence! Isn't it?"

"Indeed, it is, son. At least it was when I was still an attorney. They've changed many things since then, as you already know."

Apollo turns back to Nahyuta. "There! It's against the rules. Now give it back!" he orders.

Nahyuta crosses his arms. "No! It's silly anyway, because I don't have anything to counter and it's boring like this."

"Alright," Apollo huffs. "I'll do something else then." He presses his finger against his forehead and thinks hard about another method he can use to win this. He is just about to call a witness to testify about the accused's lacking alibi, when he hears a very faint, but strange noise through the pattering of the rain against the windowpane. "What's that?"

"What?" Nahyuta asks.

"That noise. There's a strange noise out there."

Nahyuta cocks his head and listens for a few seconds. "I only hear the rain _._ "

Apollo steps up to the window. He cannot see anything through the rain, but the noise is still there.

"You're just imagining it, Apollo," Nahyuta says. "C'mon, let's continue."

"I'm not imagining it," Apollo protests. "If you would come here, you would hear it, too!" He pauses and listens again. "It's even getting louder! And it sounds like some… some engine. A car engine! Dhurke, Uncle Datz is coming to visit, isn't he?"

Dhurke frowns. "Not that I know of, son. But you're not imagining it, now I can hear it as well." He closes his book, gets up from his chair and walks over to where Apollo is standing, Nahyuta following him. The noise – the engine is still getting louder and clearer… and closer.

"Wow!" Apollo says, happily bouncing up and down. "Uncle Datz has to have a new car! It's really loud! Can he take us for a ride, Dhurke?" He turns to him, but Dhurke is not smiling. He's staring outside, looking unusually pale.

"It's not Uncle Datz, son."

"Huh? But who _is_ it?"

Dhurke does not answer.

"…F-Father…" Nahyuta whispers, suddenly sounding scared, "it's not the regime again, is it?"

Apollo feels fear starting to rise in him. The bad guys have been all over the mountains lately; he cannot even count the times they have had to hide anymore, sometimes even in the middle of the night. But they have never been so close to their house! The engine is getting so loud now, it sounds like they are driving right towards them!

"Nahyuta," Dhurke says very calmly – and when he's that calm, it always means danger – "take your brother and go to your usual hiding spots."

Nahyuta nods, clearly afraid, but Apollo clutches to Dhurke. "They're not going to come to the house, are they? They've never come to the house before."

"…I think it's very likely that they do this time, son," Dhurke says. "Which is why it's very important that you go with your brother now, before it's too late. If it comes to the worst, I want you boys to know that I love you very much, alright? Now go. Hurry! And remember to be quiet."

Nahyuta's eyes are brimming with tears, but he nods again, whispers: "C'mon, _ono'ro mit-sa_ , everything's going to be alright," and pulls his now silently crying younger brother out of the room with him.

Dhurke wants to pull them back and hug them both so badly, but he has to concentrate. Quickly, he cleans away everything he sees in the room that hints at a recent inhabitation of this place, before hurrying to his own hiding place in the house as quietly as he can. He just barely manages to hide away, before someone bangs on the front door.

"Is someone in there? Open this door, in the name of Her Eminence!"

 _Never_ , Dhurke thinks.

There is the crashing sound of the door being burst open, and several people entering the house, yelling orders in Khura'inese at each other – "You, look over there in the back rooms, and you over there!", "Search everything!" – and footsteps disappearing into every kind of direction; doors, cupboards and drawers being yanked open and carelessly emptied, their content spilling onto the floor.

Dhurke closes his eyes. _O Holy Mother, please protect my children_ , he silently prays. _Let them take me instead, for all I care, but not them. Not Nahyuta and Apollo. Please. Please. I'd do anything._

He keeps his eyes closed, listening to cupboards being searched, chairs being thrown over, footsteps coming close to his hideout and then leaving again, and so many other footsteps all over the house, in every room and corner there is. He does not know how much time passes, but eventually, they stop their search and talk to each other in the cramped hallway. Dhurke tries hard to listen in, but only catches fragments. He cannot hear the boys' voices among them – because they haven't found them? _Please, Holy Mother, let that be the reason… please protect my boys…_

" – there's someone living here with at least two children, I'm sure one of them was hiding in the room over there – "

" – talking nonsense, there was no one there, it was just your imagination – "

" – so it's not Sahdmadhi like Her Eminence suspected, he only has that one son – "

" – But it still may be some of the other insurgents who likely would know something about Sahdmadhi's whereabouts, so let's – "

"No, we're not taking further steps now! We need to report back to Her Eminence, she will tell us what to do next and when to do it. Let's go back!"

Footsteps again, but now they are all walking in the same direction, fading at the end of the hallway and the front door is slammed shut. A few moments later, he can hear cars being started and then driving away, the sound of their engines fading in the distance, until at last, everything that can be heard is the sound of the still pouring rain pattering against the windows.

Minutes pass and Dhurke still does not dare move. The house is completely quiet, but what if they haven't all left? What if someone stayed here to keep watch? He lays there, listening intently, but nothing, not a sound. They are gone. Every single one of them.

Slowly, Dhurke crawls out, stands up and walks out into the hallway. He takes a short look into the living-room and kitchen – which are, as expected, in a complete disarray, but thankfully void of any remaining regime soldier – then hurries on towards his bedroom, where Apollo and Nahyuta have their hideouts. They have left the door to the room slightly ajar, and he can hear shuffling and one of the children quietly sobbing behind it. He forces himself to be calm and enters.

"Hey boys, everything alright?"

Nahyuta is sitting on the floor, hugging his younger brother, who is still half-buried underneath the floorboards he has been hiding under. Apollo's small frame is shaking with sobs, and he clings to his brother as though his life depends on it. Nahyuta is stroking his back, obviously trying to calm him down, and looks up when he hears their father's voice. His face is tear-stained, and he looks like he has been frightened to death.

"They nearly found him, _Ata'oji_ ," he whispers. "The regime guys nearly got Apollo."

Dhurke cannot say anything. He sinks down onto his knees beside Nahyuta and frees the rest of Apollo's quivering body from the wooden floorboards. Then, he pulls both his children into his arms and holds them close in the same way he has done that day a few years back, after they have nearly drowned in the river. It is only then that he realizes his whole body is trembling.

* * *

"Apollo has to leave."

Datz looks up from his drink. "Huh?"

A few days have passed since the Ga'ran soldiers have found their little house in the mountains, and since then, they are all staying at Datz's place. It is dangerous of course, for Datz lives way closer to the capital, but it is not as dangerous as staying in the mountains would be. It is night and Nahyuta and Apollo are both in bed, when Dhurke finally voices the thought that has not left his mind since the day they have been discovered.

"He has to leave," he repeats. "There is no other way. It is too dangerous for him here."

Datz is silent for a few seconds. "But… where do you want to send him? Do you want to give him to a family here in Khura'in until all this is over?"

Dhurke shakes his head. "No, that would still be too dangerous. They would find him, and though they would not make the connection to me anymore, there is still the murder of his father… no. As long as he is here, he will never be able to grow up in peace. I… I will have to send him back to the US."

"The US?" Datz echoes in disbelief. "How will that work out? It's half a world away, the kid's only nine and he has no family there, no one he knows."

"He has his mother."

"…Well, yeah, but… c'mon, Dhurke, that country's huge! There's no way he'll ever find her or she'll find him. And there's not even a guarantee that she's there. She could have moved to another country or even died, for all we know."

"I don't have a _choice_." Dhurke runs a hand through his hair, frustrated. "It's too dangerous for him here. They nearly found him, Datz! And I don't want to imagine what would have happened to him if they had succeeded."

"And Yuty? Are you going to send him off to the US, too?"

"No, Nahyuta stays here."

"…Right."

Datz crosses his arms and stares out of the window, disagreement written all over his face. Dhurke lowers his head. For a few moments, there is silence between the two.

"Believe me, I'm not doing this willingly," Dhurke finally says. "I have no other choice. If I could, I would send Nahyuta away, too, but I can't. This is his home, he was born here and he's my _son_ , I… I cannot give him , on the other hand…" He sighs. "It's difficult to explain. Apollo is my son, too, but he is Jove's son as well. I cannot just make this kind of decisions for him without considering what Jove would have wanted. And he wouldn't have wanted his son to grow up in fear of a foreign government. He would have wanted him to grow up safe, and Apollo is not safe here in Khura'in. At least not until the revolution is complete and the Ga'ran regime overthrown."

"I see…" Datz slowly says. "Well, if you're sure that this is the right thing to do, there is no way I can convince you otherwise. If you want, I can arrange a flight within the next few days. I'll go with him to make sure that he's taken care of over there."

Dhurke nods. "Thank you."

"…AJ will not take it well."

"I'll explain it to him. He'll understand."

Datz watches him with eyes full of doubt, and Dhurke averts his gaze.

* * *

It takes Datz barely a week to arrange everything for Apollo's departure, and Dhurke is thankful for it – the sooner Apollo is in America, the sooner he's safe. Still, it breaks his heart to load his son's backpack into Datz's car, knowing he won't see him again for years. And he can barely bear to look at him standing there, looking so utterly confused.

"I… I really have to go?"

Dhurke shuts the rear door of the car. "I'm afraid so, son."

"B-But… why?"

"Well, I've explained it to you. It's not safe for you here anymore." He kneels down, so that he's on eye level with Apollo. "I'm sorry this is all so rushed, son. But you know it is very dangerous here in Khura'in with the bad queen and her goons and all. I want you to be somewhere safe as quickly as possible."

"But… why aren't you and Nahyuta coming, too? Why am I the only one going?"

"W-Well…" Dhurke desperately searches for words. "…Because…"

"I have done something wrong, haven't I?"

Those words and the unbearably sad and crestfallen look in Apollo's eyes… it's _tearing him apart._ "No, son, not at all," he says firmly. "It's just… well… it's difficult to explain. You'll understand someday."

Apollo looks at him with an uncertain expression, but then nods slowly. "O-Okay. Good."

Dhurke nearly sighs with relief.

"Alright, AJ, we're ready to hit the road!" Datz opens the car's front door and slides into the driver's seat.

Dhurke takes a deep breath. "Have you got everything, son? Said goodbye to your brother?"

The boy nods. "'Yuta won't come out, though. He says he's angry with you and doesn't want to see you."

Dhurke sighs. Out of his two kids, he has at least expected Nahyuta to understand his decision for Apollo, but apparently, that has not been the case.

"We gotta hurry, or we're going to miss the flight," Datz calls.

"Alright." Dhurke wraps his arms around Apollo and holds him tight for the last time in what will probably be years. He does not want to pull away, wants to hold on to his son, but he knows that he can't.

He lets go and kisses Apollo on his forehead, then stands up again and helps him climb into the passenger seat. "Have a safe journey, son. Stay strong, and don't forget – "

Apollo stretches out his right arm. " – A dragon never yields!" he finishes proudly, clenches his hand into a fist and brings it to his chest. "I won't forget!"

Dhurke smiles. "Good." He tousles his son's hair one last time. "Goodbye, Apollo."

"Goodbye, _Ata'oji._ "

Dhurke is just about to close the car door when a smaller hand grasps his arm. "Hey, Dhurke?"

Apollo is looking at him with a worried, but slightly hopeful expression in his eyes. "This isn't forever, right? You'll bring me back from America someday, right?"

Dhurke thinks about telling him the truth: _"Well, son, I don't know. It depends on the revolution's success. It may very well be that you will never be able to come back here."_ He thinks about having to see that deeply sad look in his son's eyes again.

"Of course," he says. "I'll come pick you up as soon as things settle down here. Promise."

Apollo considers this for a second, then smiles brightly. "Okay! You promised!"

Dhurke feels a deep pain in his chest and forces himself to smile back, closing the door. He steps back when Datz starts the engine. Apollo waves at him when the car starts moving, and he waves back as he watches him being carried further and further away from him until finally, the car turns around a corner. His little Apollo is gone.

He cannot move an inch. He can still feel his son in his arms, hugging him goodbye. Then, he sees him as a seven-year old, scared of being sent away. Then, Apollo is five again, crying after nearly having drowned. Then, he's three and hesitantly telling him about the fire in his nightmare. And then, he's a baby again, laying in Dhurke's arms, clinging to him even in his sleep, as though he can somehow sense that he is the only one he has left now, and Dhurke notices a butterfly on the windowsill and, as to not wake the sleeping infant, softly whispers: _"Don't worry, Jove, he's safe. I'll look after him now."_

With that, he's back in the present, standing in front of Datz's small house, alone, and silent sobs start to shake his body, half out of the sorrow of having to give his son away, and half out of anger for the regime that has managed to tear his family apart a second time.


	6. Age Eleven

**Age Eleven**

Apollo hates Los Angeles.

He hates the noise and the smell of the thousands of cars speeding through the streets. He hates the huge houses and towers, and the grey of the pavement that is everywhere. Even the air here is horrible, making him feel like he has not been able to breathe properly for ages. And he hates the feeling of being so terribly, terribly lonely.

Everything and everyone is so cold here. The other children at the group home laugh at him because of his "strange accent", the matrons and tutors chide him for accidentally using Khura'inese words instead of English ones. He has no father, no brother, no uncle, not even a friend. And Dhurke still hasn't come for him.

What is taking him so long? Apollo lies awake at night, clutching the handmade music box Dhurke gave him for his sixth birthday and the only thing he has left of his home – he has already grown out of all the clothes that he brought with him from Khura'in – in his hands, silent tears streaming down his cheeks, while he asks himself the same question over and over. Maybe he is being too impatient or too sensitive about this – after all, _Ata'oji_ has promised he'll come get him, which means he definitely will and there's nothing to doubt or be scared of; all he needs to do is wait. But he has turned eleven a few months ago, he's been waiting for such a long time already, and he… he just wants to go home.

"Do you still not get it, Apollo? He's lied to you. He's not coming."

"Yeah, he obviously wanted to get rid of you."

"He has already forgotten you. You just weren't important to him."

Apollo presses his lips together and tries not to listen to what the other children are saying to him. It's the same thing the matrons tell him whenever he asks them if there's been a letter from Khura'in for him in today's mail, or when they find him standing at the front gate waiting for Dhurke, his already packed backpack slung over his shoulder. "He won't come, child," they say. "There's no point in waiting or searching for him." It makes Apollo feel angry at them, at all of them. The other children, the adults – they don't even know Dhurke and how he always, _always_ keeps his promises. He _will_ come pick him up, and he _hasn't_ forgotten him. It's just… it's just… maybe, Uncle Datz's car has broken down, or... or Dhurke has gotten lost somewhere in Los Angeles, huge as it is. Or some other thing – _anything_ – has happened that is delaying him. Dhurke hasn't forgotten him. He just _hasn't_.

* * *

"Hey, by the way, that trip to the zoo with my aunt this weekend totally failed."

It's lunchtime, but Apollo isn't hungry. He ignores his food and instead continues working on cutting a little dragon statue out of a piece of wood to give to Nahyuta when he returns home – he has missed two of his brother's birthdays already – , half listening to two of the older boys talking to each other.

"It did? Why?"

"Well, she told me she was going to pick me up, so of course I thought she meant she was going to pick me up here, but she didn't come. Turned out she meant she would be picking me up at the nearby station, but forgot to tell me that. So I waited here and she waited there, and by the time she figured out what the problem was and called, it was already too late to go to the zoo anymore. Pretty stupid."

The other laughs and agrees and both turn their attention to their food again, oblivious to Apollo staring at them, mouth agape, the words fresh in his mind.

" _Turned out she meant she would be picking me up at the station, but forgot to tell me that…"_

What if… what if the same thing is happening to him at the moment? What if Dhurke has forgotten to tell him that he is going to pick him up at the station, too? Maybe he is already there waiting for Apollo, while Apollo is still here waiting for him?

Yes, this has to be the reason why Dhurke is taking so long! He has just forgotten to tell Apollo that he's going to pick him up at the station! He's probably already there, wondering why Apollo isn't coming, maybe, Nahyuta is there, too, and Uncle Datz! He – he will go _home_!

Hurriedly, he puts the unfinished dragon statue back into his pocket and when nobody is looking his way, he quietly slips away from the table and out into the hallway. After making sure that no adult is around, he quickly dashes up to the dormitory and grabs his backpack from under his bed, then runs back downstairs and out of the back door. He has done this so often by now that he knows almost on instinct how to get out without any of the adults seeing or noticing, and luckily, the front gate is still unlocked, allowing him to just walk off the premises without any trouble. It has been unlocked since this morning, he remembers - something involving at least one of the adults has happened at the group home. Apollo watches the small courtyard from the window of the dormitory every day for a sign of Dhurke and he has seen police officers going in and out of the house practically all day. Yet, him and the other children haven't been told a thing – obviously, the adults want to keep whatever has happened a secret. The others all want to find out about the mysterious event, but Apollo couldn't care less, especially right now, when he is finally getting away from this place.

He has been to the station before when the group home has organized a trip to the countryside for the kids and they have taken the train to get there, so he still remembers the way, and fortunately, it isn't a very long walk. It's cold and a bit windy – after all, it is the middle of November – but Apollo is too excited to take notice of it. He almost runs the whole way, accidentally bumping into quite a few other people in the process, and he is out of breath by the time he finally steps onto the platform, pushing himself through the crowd of people, eyes searching and failing to find the familiar figure of Dhurke. He must be here somewhere, waiting for him, but maybe he's standing behind some of the other people here or in some corner where Apollo cannot see him, and that's why he doesn't seem to be here.

But after walking up and down the platform for several times and looking into every corner and behind every group of people there is and still seeing no sign of Dhurke, doubts begin to creep into Apollo's mind. He really doesn't seem to be here… maybe he is on the opposite platform? No, there's only a few people over there and Dhurke is not among them. But he has said he would pick him up, has he not? Perhaps... perhaps he is still on the train, or in the car or the plane and just hasn't arrived at the station yet, and that's why he isn't here. Yes, that's it – he must still be on his way. Reassured, Apollo sits down on one of the benches, crossing his legs and wrapping his arms around his backpack, hugging it to his chest. He just has to wait here a bit longer then. He's sure of it.

The wind is getting a bit stronger now, and Apollo begins to feel cold. He has forgotten to put on his coat again, he realizes, holding his backpack tighter and closing his eyes. Maybe he should go back and fetch it? …No. It doesn't matter. Dhurke will be arriving any minute now, and then, he will wrap his jacket around him and laugh and pat him on the shoulder, like he has always done, saying that Apollo really should watch out or he would become a snowman. And Nahyuta will smile mischievously, take one of the hated woollen beanies out of his coat pocket and pull it over Apollo's head in such a way that his two carefully gelled up strands of hair get pushed down, laughing at Apollo's annoyance.

He imagines the little house in the Khura'inese mountains. It will be cold there now, too. The grass will be covered with a thin layer of frost, and the first small ice floes will start to flow down the river, while in the distance, the tops of the highest mountains will already be covered with snow. Every morning, Dhurke will go out and fetch a large basket of firewood. The wind will blow throughout the day and get stronger after the sun has set, but it will be warm next to the lit fireplace, where Apollo and Nahyuta will sit with cups of hot chocolate in their hands and listen to Dhurke reading a story or a book to them or talking about his time as a lawyer and the revolution. Or they will all play board games together, and Dhurke will become so invested in them that he will forget that Apollo's and Nahyuta's bedtime is already long overdue. And when they are finally lying in their beds, Apollo will listen to the wind howl and sometimes the rain pattering against the windowpane and feel safe and secure.

 _Hey there, Apollo!_

The cold of the wind is gone and all that is left is warmth. And Apollo can hear Dhurke's voice. He lifts his head and sees that his father is really standing there on the other end of the platform, beaming.

 _Hah-ha ha ha ha ha! Surprised to see me, son? I said I'd pick you up, didn't I?_

Apollo smiles. He knew he'd come. He's always known.

He stands up and starts walking towards him, faster and faster, until he's running, and Dhurke is kneeling down, opening his arms, and he's almost there...

"Hey, little pal. Everything alright?"

Apollo slowly opens his eyes, confused. It's cold again – in fact, it is so cold that he can't even feel his body anymore – and Dhurke is gone. Dhurke has never been there, he slowly realizes, it has all been his imagination. A man is kneeling in front of him, looking him over with concern. He is wearing a long beige coat and he has kind eyes.

"You're Apollo Justice, right?"

"Um..." Apollo bites his lip, remembering Dhurke telling him to always be careful around strangers. "H-How do you know my name?"

The man smiles. "Well, because at your group home, they're all looking for you. You were missing at dinner, and nobody had seen you since lunch, and because you weren't found in the house and your backpack was gone, a few of us went out to search the area. I'm a detective from the police, by the way," he quickly adds.

"But... what time's it?"

"It's 7 pm."

"...Oh." Apollo lowers his head. " _Nasai mian-_ uh, I mean, I'm sorry. I didn't want to cause any trouble. I fell asleep."

The police detective laughs. "Yeah, I saw that, little pal! Don't worry, that even happens to me" But what were you even doing here all alone? It's quite dangerous to be out all alone at such a young age, you know."

"I was waiting for my father. He said... he said he'd come pick me up."

"O-Oh." The detective's smile fades and he now looks somewhat... sad. "Of course... the head matron told us you often wait for him... well, never mind... aren't you cold, little pal? You're not even wearing a jacket!" He shrugs off his own coat and wraps it around Apollo, then takes his backpack from him, shouldering it, and pulls him to his feet, gently leading him off the platform and onto the street towards a parking police car.

"Father didn't come," Apollo says, struggling to walk properly, because his legs feel so numb. "He never comes."

The detective watches him with that sad look again, but says nothing. He instead opens the back door of the car and helps Apollo sit down in one of the seats. "Let's just get you home quickly, alright, little pal?" He shuts the door, and through the glass of the windows, Apollo watches him walk around the car to the side where the driver's seat is.

"But Khura'in is my home," he mumbles, although he knows that nobody is hearing him.

* * *

He doesn't remember much of the ride back to the group home. He's tired and cold, and he keeps his eyes closed until they are there and he's being lead into the house again. He has been at the station for five hours. _Five hours_ , and Dhurke still hasn't come. Has he done something wrong? Is Dhurke simply being late?

Or... has he really forgotten about him?

The detective sits him down on one of the small benches in the hallway, wraps him in several blankets and tells him to wait here before turning to talk to a man who has just come out of the head matron's office and whose stern eyes have the colour of steel. Apollo absentmindedly plays with his bracelet, running his fingers over its strange ornaments again and again, only catching fragments of their conversation.

"...was waiting for his father, like the head lady suspected, sir..."

"I see... nothing to do with the case then... if you're sure, detective..."

"I'm very sure."

"Very well... you can wait outside for me, I'll tell the head matron our investigation is over for today, and then we'll go back to the office and look over the findings once more."

"Yes, sir."

A door closes, and then, steps are approaching him. Apollo looks up. It's the detective again.

"Goodbye, little pal," he says, smiling, pressing a handful of chocolate bonbons into his hands. "Keep your head up, alright?" He ruffles his hair, almost like Dhurke has always done, and then walks out, the front door falling shut behind him.

Apollo glances after him, feeling a bit warmer then before, and clutches the bonbons in his hands, closing his eyes. Dhurke... why has he not picked him up? Why is he never coming to pick him up? Is he really so unimportant? Has he – like the other children keep telling him – lied about picking him up and just sent him away to get rid of him?

He hears the door of the head matron's office open and being shut again, but he doesn't open his eyes. Steps of one person walk past him and towards the front door, before suddenly pausing for a few moments. Then, they hesitantly come back towards the bench he is sitting on. Someone clears their throat.

"May I sit here?"

Apollo lifts his gaze. It's the man with the steel eyes, the one the detective has been talking to before. He looks a bit insecure now however. Perhaps he is tired as well.

"Yeah, o' course," he says.

The man stiffly sits down next to him. Apollo turns his attention back to the bonbons, turning one after another in his fingers, when the man speaks again.

"Your... your name is Apollo, correct?"

"Yeah."

"And... you were waiting for your father?"

Apollo nods. "He told me a real long time ago he'd come pick me up, but he never comes."

"I... I see." The man pauses and seems to search for words again. "And... How long have you been here already?"

Apollo thoughtfully presses his finger against his forehead "I... think I was brought here when I was 'bout nine."

"...Oh," the man says, almost like it makes him remember something. "I... I see."

For a few moments, there is silence between them. Then, Apollo asks: "Are you a police detective, too?"

"Hm? Oh, no. I am a prosecutor. Do you know what that is?"

Apollo nods. "O' course I do. My father was a defence attorney."

Something appears in the man's steel eyes; something that almost looks like some kind of recognition. "He was?"

"Yeah. He was a really great one. I want to become a defence attorney, too, someday, just like him. A really famous one."

The man's steely eyes widen a bit at those words, so many emotions flickering over his face all at once; emotions that are too deep and too complicated for Apollo to understand. Then, his expression settles again, but the stiffness of his features and his sternness has disappeared, making his face look softer, his eyes warmer. He puts a hand onto Apollo's shoulder.

"Stay true to yourself."

Then, he stands up, his expression unreadable and closed off again, as he turns around and walks out the front door. Apollo watches after him, confused, but then, the head matron calls his name and he flinches, already hearing the anger in her voice. He gets up and takes a deep breath. A dragon never yields.

Later, he is lying in bed, holding his music box in his hands, listening to the soft melody it is playing. It is the Khura'inese lullaby that Dhurke has always used to sing to comfort him, and hearing its melody still manages to calm him down even to this day, chasing away the head matron's harsh words that are still echoing in his mind, and leaving only the feeling of peace. He snuggles into the sheets, keeping the music box close to his chest, its melody and the memory of Dhurke's deep voice singing the Khura'inese words washing away the feeling of cold, making his eyelids feel heavier and heavier. And when he is on the verge of falling asleep, it is almost as if he can hear another voice singing along to it; a voice that is not as deep as Dhurke's, but soft, filled with love and warmth, and sounds so, so familiar. A voice that is so far away in his memories that he cannot quite grasp it, but still at the same time etched so deep in his mind that he is unable to forget it.

That night, he dreams of the warmth of someone holding him close and safe until suddenly, flames blaze up and tear them away from him, leaving Apollo alone and terrified. He dreams of Dhurke's arms around him, protecting him, and then his hands on his shoulders, ushering him towards a plane which carries him into a strange, cold country filled with strange, cold people and empty platforms, and Dhurke' voice echoing faintly in his ears:

" _Nahyuta, Apollo... Don't you ever hesitate to call when you need me. Understand?"_

Apollo wakes up from his own voice calling for his father, his face wet with tears, hands still cradling the now closed music box to his chest.

Nobody answers.

* * *

 **AN:** **So, can anyone guess who the mysterious prosecutor is? ;)**


	7. Age Sixteen

**Age Sixteen**

" _I'll come pick you up as soon as things settle down here. Promise."_

 _Dhurke smiles and waves at him, but the further the car carries him away from him, the more his smile turns into a satisfied smirk, and he sees him mouth: "He's gone. Finally."_

 _Apollo wants to scream at him – "Liar! Traitor!" – but in the next moment, he is the one being screamed at – he has accidentally broken a plate, his new foster father's face is red with fury while his new foster mother tries to shield Apollo from him –_

 _He's thirteen years old and sitting in the group home's common room, and while all around him, the other kids are busy opening their last Christmas presents, his eyes are glued to the television. A live broadcast of a courtroom trial is being shown – "State vs. Edgeworth, 3_ _rd_ _trial", the letters proclaim below – and the defence attorney in the blue suit points at the scary looking old guy at the prosecutor's bench, his eyes filled with a fire that ignites Apollo's old dream again, the dream he has given up upon when he has realized that Dhurke has been false all along. He watches on as the attorney wins the trial, the scary prosecutor finally defeated, and thinks that this man might be his new hero. Yes, he is going to be a lawyer someday, too – a lawyer just like Phoenix Wright, the man with blue fire in his eyes and iron strength in his voice._

 _And then, he is staring at that newspaper headline from a few days ago – "Genius Prosecutor Reveals Crooked Attorney!" – with a photo of Phoenix Wright below it, feeling the same sense of betrayal he has felt years ago when he realizes that yet another man that he has considered a hero and an idol has turned out to be nothing but false._

"'Pollo! 'Pollo, wake up!"

"…Huh…?"

Apollo slowly opens his eyes and looks around, confused. This room is certainly not the familiar dormitory, and he's also not lying in his own bed. Instead, he's lying on an… air mattress?

Oh, right, he's at his best friend Clay's house, having a sleepover. And Clay has also been the one that woke him up, given the nickname and the fact that he's still insistently shaking his shoulder. "C'mon, 'Pollo, wake up! We gotta get up!"

"What're you talking 'bout…" Apollo murmurs, closing his eyes again. "'s still dark outside…"

"That's the _point_! We have to go watch the stars! This is the ideal moment, there's not a cloud in the sky! C'mon!"

Apollo groans and pulls his blanket up to his chin. "You go. I'll sleep."

"Oh _no_ , you won't!" Clay pulls away Apollo's blanket, causing him to sit up in annoyance. "You're coming with me!"

"But Clay, I want to sleep!"

"Oh, stop being like that, we can go back to sleep afterwards. C'mon!" Clay jumps to his feet and when Apollo doesn't do the same, he grabs his arm and yanks him up and out of the room. "Come _on!_ "

"…Uh… yeah, yeah, I'm coming, okay? You don't have to rip my arm off…"

Only a few minutes later, they are sitting on the flat roof, looking into the sky. They have been here for so often now that even Apollo's fear of height doesn't bother him anymore. And fortunately, Clay has thought of taking some blankets with him, it is a really cold night after all.

"I love to watch the stars," Clay says, leaning back a little, eyes fixed on the dark sky. "They're so beautiful. The most beautiful thing in the world. And soon, I'll be up there, too."

Apollo lowers his head and lets his fingers run over the strange engraved patterns of his bracelet.

"What is it?" Clay asks.

"Nothing. I just… remembered something."

"Remembered what?"

Apollo sighs. "It's just… someone used to tell me that the stars were lanterns, lit by the souls of the ones who have passed on to the next world – the Twilight Realm – to tell their loved ones still on earth of their presence."

"Huh." Clay frowns. "But that's not – "

"I know that it's not scientifically true, but… I still like to believe it."

Funny how, even after all that has happened, he still finds himself holding on to those Khura'inist beliefs. But it is kind of… comforting, the thought that maybe, just maybe, one of those millions of lights up there is the one that his biological father has lit for him; a man who has left this world before Apollo has even learned to walk.

He wonders what that man has been like. Has he loved him, has he been proud of him? _Would_ he be proud of him if he could see him now – a moody teenage boy with a too loud voice and a strange eyesight condition that no doctor he has ever been to can make sense of and that over time has become so strong it now always results in him having migraine attacks?

Next to him, Clay crosses his arms. "My father thinks I'm crazy for wanting to become an astronaut," he says, his voice unusually quiet.

"What? Why?"

"He thinks that I'm not going to make it, that I'm not going to be able to meet the requirements of the job and the training."

Apollo thinks about this for a moment. "Well… they have high requirements there, everyone knows that, but… if you really want it, you're going to make it! I believe in you!"

"Really?" Clay looks at him, eyes full of hope. "You really believe that?"

"Of course!" Apollo says firmly. "You're Clay Terran and you're fine! You're going to be the best astronaut the world has ever seen!"

Clay takes a deep breath. "I'm Clay Terran and I'm FINE!" he yells out into the night, and then laughs. "Hope that didn't wake Dad. But I needed it. Thanks, 'Pollo. You're going to be a great lawyer, too, just you wait."

"Thanks. But I'm not sure if I even _want_ to become a lawyer anymore."

"What?" Clay exclaims. "But it was always your dream!"

"I know… but maybe it was the wrong dream."

"Oh, don't be silly! Is it because of Phoenix Wright's disbarment?"

Apollo hugs his knees to his chest and stays silent.

"I knew it!" Clay says triumphantly. "'Pollo, look, I understand how hard it must be for you – I mean, that guy was your first celebrity crush. But – "

"No, he wasn't!"

" – _But_ you shouldn't let anyone have influence over your dreams. Especially not the ones you've had for such a long time. Alright? You're going to be the best lawyer of them all. And me the best astronaut. And together, we'll make the best team!"

"Phoenix Wright was _not_ my celebrity crush!"

"Oh c'mon, 'Pollo, he totally was. You should have seen your face every time you saw that guy on TV or in the papers, you were _so_ obvious."

Apollo gives him a light shove into the side. "Shut up!"

Clay just laughs and raises his hands in mock surrender.

For a few minutes, both silently look up into the dark sky. Then…

"…'Pollo?"

"Hm?"

"…Somehow, I never asked you about it before and… I understand if you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to answer…"

"Why, what is it?"

"Um, well… I was wondering… you told me you don't have a mum either, but… what about your dad?"

Even just out of the corner of his eye, Clay can see his friend tense up. "I'm sorry, I should have known you wouldn't want to talk about it," he says quickly. "I mean, you live at a group home and… I'm sorry. I'm gonna stop talking now."

"No, it's… fine. There's not much to tell. I've never had a father."

Almost immediately after he has said this, Apollo feels the strange sensation he always feels just before his vision goes haywire. It happens now as well – somehow, he can't keep his gaze on the stars anymore, his eyes start to search around almost on their own accord, focussing on the chimney, Clay's arm, his own hands, suddenly seeing everything as if he were putting it under a microscope: he sees every patch of moss on the bricks of the chimney, every crease on Clay's pyjama sleeve, the way his own index finger taps against his leg. It is so detailed it is painful and his eyes, while seeing everything so clearly, still cannot seem to focus on a specific detail; they just skim over everything at once, searching and searching, and he has no control, no control at all and he can feel his migraine coming back –

He must have made some sound, because suddenly, Clay's hands are on his shoulders. "'Pollo, is it the focus again?"

Apollo can only nod.

"Okay. Remember what we said that you are supposed to do when you're having this?"

He nods again. He is supposed to close his eyes until it is gone again, but it is so difficult. He doesn't have control anymore, and it's _terrifying._

He doesn't know how and when, but at some point, he manages it, and everything going blissfully dark. He brings up his hands to cover his eyes – just to be sure – and waits. Clay's hands are still resting on his shoulders, steadying him. "Okay, you're doing good. Now just calm your breathing, everything's fine, okay? You're Apollo Justice and you're fine."

It feels like ages go by until he can finally feel that it's gone again. He hesitantly lifts his hands from his face and opens his eyes, relieved when he sees everything normal again. He takes a shaky breath.

"Clay, I think I'm going crazy."

"'Pollo – "

"No, really. This isn't normal. No one but me has those problems. What's wrong with me? I don't know what's wrong with me!" His voice breaks.

Clay looks at him, concerned. "I don't know what this condition is, but you're not going crazy. Maybe it has something to do with stress? I shouldn't have asked you about your father…"

"No! No, this happens all the time, this wasn't because of you. It was… it was me, I… I'm going _crazy_ , I must be!"

"No," Clay insists. "You're not, 'Pollo! Maybe, you're just tired. I woke you up after all. Let's just go back to sleep, alright? Is your migraine back?"

Apollo nods weakly. "It always is after those episodes. Maybe they're the cause for it, I don't know."

"Okay, well… you need to sleep. Let's go back, okay?"

"…Okay…"

* * *

But Apollo is not able to go back to sleep. He lies awake as the minutes and hours tick by, staring at the ceiling, his head still aching though the darkness of the room helps.

This condition is not normal.

It has first started when he has been about thirteen, and back then, it has just been a twitch of his vision, almost non-recognizable, and now… now… it's become so strong and impossible to control it _scares_ him, and there's no one he can ask or talk to about it. Dhurke – no, he is not going to think about him anymore, that man has never existed in his life. His mother… well, he doesn't know who or where she is. And, taking into consideration that she has never really tried to find him, it's obvious that she doesn't want him. And his father... well… he remembers Nahyuta telling him once that the souls in the Twilight Realm can still hear them.

After reassuring himself that Clay is really asleep, he quietly gets up and moves to the window, looking up at the sky once more.

"Uh… Dad?" It's so strange saying that word, it feels almost foreign. "I… I really have a problem and I don't know what it is or what to do, can you… can you help me?"

He waits, but nothing happens.

Well.

"Of course you can't," Apollo murmurs quietly. "You can't hear me at all, can you? I'm sorry, I guess I don't know what I'm doing anymore."

Nahyuta has obviously been wrong. What has he even been expecting? An image of his father appearing in the sky and talking to him, like in The Lion King? This is real life; his father is dead and not going to help or even hear him. He's acting ridiculous.

Apollo turns around and makes his way back to his mattress, where he curls into his blankets, buries his face into his pillow and bites his lip, a few tears escaping his eyes. He curses silently. He is alone, and he should just learn to deal with it already.

He doesn't notice or feel the puff of wind suddenly blowing through the half-open window, gently brushing his cheek and then his wrist and the golden bracelet clinging to it.


	8. Age Twenty

**Age Twenty**

The old wooden floorboards creak underneath his feet as he paces up and down the darkened room. He has tried to ignore it for a long time, but it is true: Ga'ran has managed to gain an advantage over them. Their best men have been imprisoned… their plan to spark a revolution from the inside of the system has failed… will everything they have endured all be for nothing in the end?

He will not yield. He will keep fighting for the revolution until his very death, that much is beyond debate. And yet… he doesn't understand…

His gaze falls onto the old photo pinned to the wall, showing him and his sons in front of their little house in the mountains all those years ago, back when the world has been a little brighter than it is today. He has failed them both.

Nahyuta… he has been so proud of him. Too proud. His pride has led him to just let his son go right into the enemy's den without a second thought, and now? Now, whenever he looks into his son's eyes, it is not his son he sees in there anymore, but a stranger who is nothing more than Ga'ran's puppet. His son is gone, and it's his fault. He has not protected him as much as he should have.

And Apollo? It pains him to even think of his younger son, who he has sent away when he has been only nine years old and not visited even once, despite planning to for years. He wonders what Apollo looks like now – he must be twenty years old, if he's not mistaken. Does he still wear his hair in those horns like he has used to? Has he still got his loud voice and the strange bracelet which he has already been wearing as an infant? Is his favourite colour still red? What is he doing right now, what profession has he chosen for himself? Maybe he has become a musician, like his father?

He does so wish to see him, but he doubts Apollo still remembers him, and even if he does, he must hate him. And he can't blame him for it either. He has failed him as much he has failed Nahyuta, if not more.

But maybe… if he searches and thinks hard enough, maybe he will find a way to get out of this country and fly over to the States. And even if Apollo does not want to see him, he at least will have a chance to apologize and make things right again.

"Dhurke!" he hears Datz's voice. "Everything's ready. It's time!"

"Alright."

 _I'll see you soon, Apollo_. _After this mission, I'll come visit. I promise_.

He takes one last look at the photograph, and then, he's out of the room.

Hours later, when they've managed to break three of their compatriots out of prison, his mind is consumed by the revolution again, his plan to visit his son forgotten once more.

* * *

"If you would take a seat and wait just a moment, sir, Mr. Gavin will be ready for you in just a few minutes," the receptionist says in a bored tone and closes the door behind her before Apollo can even answer. He sits down on one of the sofas, nervously running a slightly shaking hand through his hair as he waits. This waiting room makes him feel so uncomfortable. Even the curtains seem to have cost more than all of Apollo's furniture combined. And yet, here he is waiting for his interview. And all this thanks to Clay.

He has been having money problems again recently – no surprise, really. Yes, he has the money from the scholarship, but that amount only barely manages to cover the fees Apollo has to pay for law school. Until a few months ago, he has managed to earn the rest of the money he needs through a job at a café, but it has had to close down due to insolvency, leaving Apollo without a job again. He has applied to several law offices for a student's job, and they have all rejected him. But Clay has refused to let him give up, snatched Apollo's laptop and sent an application to another law office. And not just any law office, but the most posh law office he has ever seen.

Apollo buries his head in his hands. He doesn't understand why he has even been given an interview in the first place, when all the other not-as-posh places he has applied to have rejected him instantly. He is so out of place here; even the receptionist has seemed to have wrinkled her nose a bit when he has said that he is here for a job interview. And he's not sure anymore if he even wants to do this interview – he won't get the job anyway. How could he even? He doesn't even appear at least a bit professional in his worn out, second-hand clothes, and the black suit jacket he has borrowed from Clay in a fit of desperation and that is way too large for him. He will make a complete fool of himself.

He hears the door being opened again. It's probably the receptionist coming to take him to Mr. Gavin.

"I'm sorry," he mumbles, slowly lifting his head from his hands. "But I think this interview isn't a good idea, I'll just go – "

Apollo stops in the middle of the sentence and freezes, because it's not the receptionist standing in the doorframe. Rather, it's a tall, tan man wearing glasses and a very expensive looking suit, his long, platinum blonde hair styled in a spiral-shaped braid, and an expression of mild surprise and amusement on his face. Then, he smiles.

"Are you sure you don't even want to try?" he asks. "I promise I don't bite."

"Uh…" Apollo stumbles to his feet, the sincere kindness and warmth the other is radiating catching him off guard after being treated with indifference and slight disdain by the receptionist. "I-I'm sorry… A-Are you…?"

"Kristoph Gavin, attorney at law. Pleased to meet you." His handshake is firm and as warm as his smile and his voice. He hates to think about it, but it somehow reminds him of… of Dhurke.

"U-Um, I'm Apollo Justice… oh, but you already know that, I'm sorry… I-I'm making a complete fool of myself… I don't know why I'm so…" Apollo stutters, but the man just chuckles.

"Please, it's alright. It's completely normal to be nervous. But if you'd like, we can continue the conversation in my office."

Apollo manages a nod and follows him through the short hallway and into another room which is as posh as the waiting room, but still feels a bit more comfortable, maybe due to the many bookshelves filled with case files and law books. Mr. Gavin sits down behind the huge wooden desk which is also loaded with stacks of files.

"Please, take a seat," he says and Apollo timidly sits in one of the leather chairs opposite him on the other side of the desk. "Let's see…" He adjusts his glasses and flicks through a document in front of him which Apollo recognizes as his application. "First, I have a question concerning your résumé. Is that alright?"

"Uh, yes, sir. Of course."

"You say here that, aside from being fluent in English, you're also fluent in Khura'inese? This is the language they speak in the Kingdom of Khura'in, isn't it?"

Apollo nods hesitantly. He does not like where this is going.

"Well, I'm interested. How did you acquire this knowledge? It's not exactly a language that's taught in schools."

"I…" Apollo feels cornered. He knows this is not Mr. Gavin's intention at all – he can see nothing but honest interest on his face – but he can't help it. He always feels this way when someone stars to ask questions about his past. "I used to live in Khura'in when I was a child."

"Oh?" Mr. Gavin raises his eyebrows in surprise. "So you grew up there?"

"Y-Yes, sir. But I… left when I was nine." Apollo's fingers nervously start playing with his bracelet. "I-I'm sorry, but… I wouldn't feel comfortable talking about it further…"

"Oh." Mr. Gavin inclines his head, and if he thinks Apollo strange for it, he doesn't let it show. "Of course. I apologize, I didn't mean to pry. I was simply curious. Let's talk about something else then, shall we? Would you mind telling me why you want to become a defence attorney?"

"Oh! Of course!" This is something he can answer easily. "I want to be able to fight for the truth!"

His enthusiasm must have shown, because Mr. Gavin's smile widens. "The truth?"

"Yes! And justice for my client, of course. Truth and justice are the most important goals for an attorney! …Um, in my opinion of course," Apollo adds a bit sheepishly.

Mr. Gavin chuckles. "I agree. Though one must not forget that an attorney also has an obligation to represent the client, and therefore must cede their wishes above all else."

"Yes, of course, but isn't the truth most important? And to work together with the prosecution to find it? …Oh no, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to question your – "

Mr. Gavin holds up a hand, smiling. "Oh no, it's quite alright. In fact, I was hoping that you would argue. Little things like that show me if someone has potential."

"R-Really?"

"Oh yes. Arguing, questioning every statement is the essence of attorney's job. You seem to have everything you need in order to become a great attorney in the future."

Apollo blushes and looks down onto his hands.

"Well, that would be all," he hears Mr. Gavin say. "I think you're well suited for the job, Mr. Justice. Your grades are excellent and you have great potential."

"Job?" Apollo asks, confused.

The amusement is back in Mr. Gavin's eyes. "Yes, the student's job you applied for."

"Oh, of course. Yes. …Wait. You don't mean…"

"You're hired, Mr. Justice," Mr. Gavin explains patiently.

"You're kidding, right?" Apollo blurts out. "…Uh, sorry! I mean – "

Mr. Gavin chuckles. "I assure you, I'm quite serious." He stands up and Apollo follows suit, feeling dazed. This must be a crazy dream.

"This is the employment contract." Mr. Gavin hands him a document and an envelope. "I suggest you read through it carefully. If you have any questions or bothers, feel free to call and we'll make an appointment to discuss it. Otherwise, just put your signature on the last page and send it back to me via letter. You'll find a stamp you can use in the envelope. Do you have any remaining questions?"

Apollo nods. "U-Um… when will I start?"

"Hm, I suppose I should give you a proper introduction to the law firm and your tasks before your first work day. How about you come here again on Monday, same time? Then, we will also set your weekly schedule. I suggest you bring your law school schedule, so we can adjust your hours of labour to it and avoid any potential overlaps with your courses."

"O-Okay, Monday is fine. And what about an outfit, I mean, like work outfit? Do I need one?"

"A suit will do, I think."

"O-Oh." Apollo chews on his bottom lip and lowers his head. Suits, even second-hand ones, aren't exactly cheap and he's already running a deficit.

"Is something concerning you?" Mr. Gavin's voice makes Apollo look back at him in surprise. He must have noticed his unease.

"N-Nothing, i-it's just…" Apollo feels embarrassed. How can he explain to a man who is this well off and who's also his boss that he cannot possibly afford a suit right now?

But it turns out to be unnecessary to explain it, as Mr. Gavin seems to have read his mind. "Are you having money problems?" he asks gently.

"Uh… t-to be fair… y-yes, sir. I'm sorry, I…"

"No, I understand. I was once a student as well, I still remember the struggles. If you cannot afford a suit yourself, maybe you can borrow one for the time being? Maybe from a friend or your father?"

Apollo can't help but flinch. "My friend's clothes don't fit." He gestures at the oversized suit jacket he is wearing. "And I… I'm an orphan."

"Oh, I'm so sorry." Mr. Gavin looks at him with eyes full of compassion and his words sound genuine. "This must be so hard for you."

Apollo cannot answer, forcing back images of Dhurke and memories of waiting for him in the cold courtyard of the group home.

"Right," Mr. Gavin says, "I'll think about what we can do about the suit. For the next weeks, it's completely sufficient if you wear dark trousers and a shirt."

Apollo feels his throat tie up with gratitude. "T-Thank you, sir," he manages to get out.

"No need to thank me, Mr. Justice." Mr. Gavin shakes his hand and opens the door for him. "Oh… forgive me, I've just noticed your bracelet. Very beautiful design. Can I ask where you have it from?"

"Huh?" Apollo looks down at the golden band wrapped around his wrist. "Sorry, I don't know. I've had it ever since I can remember."

Mr. Gavin hums thoughtfully. "I see… Forgive my curiosity. I'll see you on Monday, then. Have a very good day, Mr. Justice."

"You too, sir."

Apollo still feels like he's somehow dreaming all this as he walks back through the hallway and into the waiting room where he has left his coat and his bag. He has a job. He has a _job_ at _Gavin Law Offices!_

He puts the contract into his bag carefully, so it won't wrinkle, and then puts on his coat, when suddenly, someone behind him says: "Hey, nice bracelet, kiddo."

He turns around, startled. A man Apollo has not noticed at all until now is sitting on one of the chairs. He's wearing clothes that are even shabbier than those Apollo is wearing, and a bright blue woollen beanie with pink letters proclaiming the word "PaPa" covers his hair. His blue eyes look somehow familiar, but are almost half-closed and Apollo realizes that this man surely must be consuming… chemical substances. He's most definitely a client. Not really knowing what to do, Apollo gives him a small smile. "Thanks."

The man smiles back. "Never seen you 'round here before. What's your name?"

"Um, Apollo Justice, sir."

"Ah." The man's smile widens. "That's quite a name, kiddo."

Apollo laughs nervously. "Yeah, many people just think I'm kidding when I tell them my name… but if you'll excuse me, I need to go now or I'll miss my bus. Sorry. Um… have a nice day."

"See ya!" he hears the man call before he closes the door to the waiting room behind him and hurries out. He doesn't understand why everyone's so interested in his bracelet, when _he has just gotten a job at Gavin Law Offices!_

Holy Mother, he cannot believe how lucky he is! Mr. Gavin has said that Apollo has everything he needs in order to become a great attorney! And overall, he seems to be such a kind person. Though he _does_ remind him of Dhurke – his former caretaker has also used to radiate such warmth and kindness as Mr. Gavin does and Mr. Gavin's calm way to talk does resemble the tone that Dhurke has always used when he explained something to Apollo and Nahyuta.

He doesn't know whether that resemblance to Dhurke is good or bad. It does leave him with a slightly uneasy feeling. He knows Dhurke's true nature, and if someone resembles him, it cannot be a good sign.

* * *

Maybe that's why, two years later, when his boss and mentor is led out of the courtroom in handcuffs, he feels not the least bit surprised, but instead just resigned and empty, tears burning at the corners of his eyes. He has somehow known all along.

Mr. Gavin has resembled Dhurke – a liar and a traitor – too much.


	9. Age Twenty-Three

**AN:** Sorry for the long wait! I'm not very good at writing romance and therefore was having many struggles with this chapter. Hope you like it anyway!

* * *

 **Age Twenty-Three**

It all starts slowly, so very slowly.

In the weeks following the Misham trial, though Prosecutor Gavin appears to be just his usual self, Apollo senses that he is just acting, trying to conceal the damage the last few months have done to him. First, Apollo doesn't know what to do. It's clear that Prosecutor Gavin needs some kind of comfort, but he is not sure if he's the right person to help him – they barely even know each other and it is still him who's responsible for the incarcerations of Prosecutor Gavin's best friend and his brother. Then, one Sunday, when he's taking his usual evening walk through People Park, he spots him sitting on a bench, his head buried in his hands, his shoulders shaking slightly, as if he's… sobbing.

Not really knowing if he's doing the right thing, Apollo walks over. "Um… hello?"

Prosecutor Gavin doesn't seem to hear him.

"Prosecutor Gavin?" Apollo hesitantly lays a hand onto his shoulder.

"Ah!" His courtroom rival immediately jumps to his feet. "O-Oh, H-Herr Forehead! You startled me!"

He hastily wipes at his cheeks and puts on his usual glamorous smile, but Apollo still sees the wetness of tears on his cheeks and his red-rimmed eyes.

"Are you alright?" Apollo automatically asks, but scolds himself for it immediately after. What a stupid question!

"Ja. Why shouldn't I be?" Prosecutor Gavin is still smiling, but Apollo's bracelet tells him the truth.

"You mess with your hair when you're lying."

Prosecutor Gavin looks caught and lowers his hand that has been fiddling with a loose strand of his braid that is identical to the one his brother wears. He laughs nervously. "You got me there, Herr Forehead. How is it that you always catch people's nervous ticks so quickly?"

Apollo ignores his attempt to change the subject. "If there's anything I can help you with…"

"I'm afraid there's not," Prosecutor Gavin cuts him off harshly, but then immediately looks remorseful and apologetic. "I'm sorry. I should not have – "

"No, it's alright. I can understand." It is his fault, after all. He has done this to him. If it wasn't for him, Mr. Gavin and Mr. Crescend would not be…

"Don't do that." Prosecutor Gavin seems to have read his mind. "Please don't blame yourself."

"But I – "

"You did nothing wrong. Kristoph and Daryan chose their paths for themselves."

Apollo lowers his gaze. "Still, I'm sorry."

"Ja, me too."

For a moment, they're both silent.

"I want to help," Apollo says.

Prosecutor Gavin laughs humourlessly. "I don't think you can, Herr Forehead. My brother is gone, and nothing's going to change that."

"Well… yes, but… I could help in other ways, you know. Like… comforting you, we could meet for lunches or watch movies together…" Apollo notices that he's starting to ramble. "…I mean, like… I would like it if we could become friends…"

Prosecutor Gavin's eyes widen. "What?"

"Not if you don't want to, of course!" Apollo adds quickly, dropping his gaze. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to presume – "

"Nein, _nein,_ I… I would like that very much. Being friends with you, I mean."

Apollo looks up. "Really? B-But… Prosecutor Gavin, if you're not sure, then…"

Prosecutor Gavin smiles shyly, shakily. "Call me Klavier. And I'm sure."

Apollo feels his face heat up. "O-Okay. So, um… friends?"

This time, Klavier's laugh is genuine and full of joy. "Ja, Herr Forehead. Friends."

* * *

It marks the start of a wonderful friendship. They often meet for lunch or coffee, text each other basically the whole day through, and more and more, Apollo gets to know not rock star Klavier Gavin and not Prosecutor Gavin, but the man hidden beneath those masks and the glamour of his fame; sees his intelligence, his humour, his genuine warmth, but also how easily he gets frustrated, his almost workaholic tendencies, and his exaggerated need for perfection when it comes to his music. It's this version, he decides, that he likes the most – the real Klavier Gavin, with all his flaws.

And then, slowly, the nature of their relationship changes; Apollo starts stuttering when Klavier smiles at him and Klavier starts blushing whenever Apollo laughs about his jokes. The moments where they are both smiling and just silently gazing at each other become more and more frequent. And eventually, one day, when they are taking a walk in People Park together, Klavier suddenly stops and looks at him. He's more nervous than Apollo has ever seen him, biting his lip several times before _blushing_ and hesitantly taking Apollo's hand in his, a timid and questioning expression in his eyes, the meaning of what he is trying to say clear as day. Apollo stares at him, shocked, so shocked that Klavier apparently feels the same way – _why_ _does he_ , Apollo is nothing special, Apollo is plain, ordinary, who in their right mind would even _consider_ – that he only realizes he hasn't given a reaction at all when Klavier's gaze turns slightly sad and he tries to retreat his hand.

"No, don't!" Apollo exclaims and grips tightly onto his fingers.

Klavier's eyes widen and his cheeks flush even more. "You… too?" he whispers, a trace of uncertainty in his voice.

A sudden rush of courage rises within Apollo and he stands on his tiptoes and brushes his lips against Klavier's in a brief, shy kiss. "Yes."

Klavier stares at him, his eyes filled with wonder. Then, his face breaks into a brilliant smile, full of pure happiness and _love_ , and Apollo's eyes flutter closed when Klavier gently cups his face in his hands and rests their foreheads together. He sighs, wraps his arms around the taller man, feels his warmth, breathes in his scent, and, for the first time in many years, feels like he has come home.

* * *

Over the next few weeks, Apollo constantly feels as if he's living the life of another. The intensity of the feelings he holds for Klavier is something he has never experienced before; it's overwhelming. He cannot recall ever loving someone so much, _trusting_ someone so much.

It scares him.

After all, he _has_ a knack for trusting the wrong people. Everyone he has ever trusted has ended up betraying him in the end. He really should have learned his lesson by now – trust only means giving another person the power to hurt you.

 _Klavier is different_ , a voice in his head keeps telling him and his heart fully agrees. Klavier would never betray or hurt him. Would never discard him, like Dhurke did, or lie and manipulate him, like Mr. Gavin and Mr. Wright did. He should be ashamed of himself, for even just _thinking_ about Klavier like that when the other would obviously trust him with his very life.

And yet, the doubt remains; hidden, but present in the way Apollo holds himself back from telling Klavier things that he fears would give the other too much power over him or make himself appear strange. He hates himself for it. Klavier doesn't seem to have any problem with such things. When he puts on his reading glasses for the first time in Apollo's presence, he shows only a little bit of insecurity and a hesitant glance towards Apollo which turns into relief when Apollo smiles at him and says that glasses suit him. He appears to be completely at ease with being seen as he truly is, with all his faults and vulnerabilities. And it tears Apollo apart to see it, to see Klavier so comfortable, so _open_ , when he himself is the complete opposite – closed up, distrusting, always holding something back. Klavier gives and gives, and Apollo takes and takes, but never gives anything in return – he wants to, but he cannot; he fears rejection, fears it so much.

"You know, I've realized that I actually don't know very much about _you_ , Schatz," Klavier says one evening, after they have been discussing Klavier's brother and childhood for a while. "What about your family? Do you have any siblings?"

Apollo tenses. Memories of Nahyuta flash across his mind – his laugh while pulling him outside with him, _"C'mon_ , _ono'ro mit-sa_ , _let's go play!"_ and then his angry, cold gaze and sharp words, _"You're only with us because you've been so bad your real Ata'oji and Nahna'oji didn't want you anymore!"_ – and he shakes his head.

"No."

He ignores his bracelet which is insistently clenching around his wrist and adds: "I never had a family."

Klavier furrows his brow and looks at him with sympathy and concern in his eyes. Maybe he suspects that Apollo is not telling the whole story, but if he does, he doesn't let it show. And Apollo rests his head against Klavier's shoulder, guilt and self-hatred boiling inside him, thinking about how he really doesn't deserve this kind, brilliant, amazing man.

Another afternoon, they visit the street food market together, and suddenly, Apollo spots a stall that must be new, because he has never noticed it before – a stall with a wooden green sign proclaiming proudly: _"Khura'inese Sweets and Snacks"._

Apollo gasps and dashes off to it without another word, leaving Klavier so bewildered it takes him several seconds to follow him. When he has finally caught up to his boyfriend, Apollo is already in a deep conversation with the seller – and speaking in a foreign language he has never heard before.

Later, when they get back to Klavier's apartment, Apollo's wallet is considerably emptier than before and his arms are laden with paper bags full of all kinds of sweets. He lays them on the kitchen table, then turns around to the other man who is leaning against the doorframe and smiling at him, warmth and genuine interest twinkling in his blue eyes.

No. He cannot bear it anymore. No matter what, he needs to tell him, needs to be honest and open, just as Klavier is with him. If Klavier is to reject or hurt him, so be it – he just cannot continue like this anymore.

"I grew up in Khura'in."

The words have burst out of him before he could have stopped them. Klavier looks at him, eyes wide and surprised.

"I'm sorry," Apollo mumbles, averting his gaze. "I'm sorry I've been so… secretive."

He hears Klavier approach him, then he is pulled into a gentle embrace. "You don't need to apologize, Schatz. You've done nothing wrong."

Apollo buries his head in Klavier's chest and remains silent.

"So, you're Khura'inese by birth then?" Klavier asks, curiosity evident in his voice.

Apollo pulls back and shakes his head. "No. My parents were American… at least, I have been told they were." He sighs and sits down on one of the kitchen chairs. "It's a long story. And you might think me weird afterwards. Are you prepared to hear it?"

Klavier settles himself in the chair across from him, takes both of his hands in his and squeezes them encouragingly.

Apollo takes a shaky breath and begins to speak.

He tells Klavier everything. He tells him about his biological parents; his father, the musician, who died while trying to save him from a fire, and his unknown mother who has never even tried contacting or finding him. He tells him about growing up in the Khura'inese mountains with Dhurke and Nahyuta and about how he was sent away to America at age nine with the promise that Dhurke would come pick him up. He tells him about how he waited for Dhurke in the group home for months and years, but he never showed up or contacted him again. And he tells him about the strange eyesight condition he began to develop at about twelve years old, the fears about going crazy and how it only stopped after Mr. Wright and Trucy taught him what this focus was and how to use it.

Klavier just listens, not interrupting him even once. When Apollo has finally finished, he feels lighter, as if a heavy weight has been lifted off his shoulders, and he only feels the wetness on his cheeks when Klavier reaches out and gently brushes the tears away.

"But do you really think Dhurke just wanted to get rid of you, Schatz?" he asks. "You said you were being persecuted by the regime and he is a wanted man over there… maybe he just couldn't make it without risking getting caught. I don't think he would leave you like that on purpose, you're his son after all…"

"I don't think he ever really thought of me as his son," Apollo says scornfully. "No father would ever treat his son like that. He sent me to America under the pretence that it wasn't safe in Khura'in for me anymore. Let's assume he was being truthful and really _did_ only send me away because he wanted me to be safe. Then why didn't he send Nahyuta as well? Nahyuta was in even more danger than me, being his biological son and all. But no, he _only_ sent _me_. Why? Because he never ever planned to come back for me at all. The whole thing about Khura'in not being safe enough for me anymore was just an excuse, a lie. In reality, he just wanted to get rid of me."

"I don't know, Schatz. You can't say for certain. He could have been caught by the Khura'inese regime years ago, for all we know. And then, he truly _would_ have been unable to come back for you."

Apollo shakes his head. "I've kept up with the Khura'inese news through all those years. He's fine, Nahyuta as well. Nahyuta's even become a prosecutor a few years ago and now works inside the regime's very own court system." He laughs humourlessly. "Really, it doesn't sound as if it is as dangerous over there as Dhurke tried to make me believe…"

Klavier frowns, but says nothing. Apollo sighs.

"I've never told anyone about all this before, you know," he says hoarsely. "Not even Clay."

"Because you feared you would be seen as weird?" Klavier asks softly.

Apollo nods, biting his lip. He opens his mouth, but Klavier seems to already know what he is about to ask.

"I don't think you're weird, Schatz," he says, pulling him into a firm hug. "I think you're perfect."

* * *

A few weeks later, Klavier, after announcing over dinner that he has found something that might interest Apollo, presents him with a Discman and a CD.

Apollo frowns and eyes them suspiciously. "Is this another one of your older songs that you think is 'acoustic enough' that I might like it?"

Klavier laughs. "Nein, nein. It's a song from one of Troup Gramarye's albums."

"Troup Gramarye? They had _albums_? I thought they were magicians, not musicians."

"Ja, they were. But they had songs in their shows as well – those were usually performed by guest performers. And when they started getting really popular in the early 2000's, they started publishing soundtrack albums, containing all of the songs and pieces performed in their shows." Klavier pauses and opens the Discman, putting the CD inside. "You said your biological father was a musician, ja?"

Apollo nods slowly.

"Well… I asked a few of my old friends in the music business if they have ever heard about or known any works from a musician with the last name _'Justice'_. They all said no… but then, yesterday, one of them said that he had done a bit of digging – and that one of the Troup Gramarye's first soundtrack albums include a song from a performer named Jangly Justice."

"Jangly Justice?" Apollo echoes, eyes full of doubt.

"I think it's his stage name, Schatz," Klavier says gently. "I asked my friend if he could give me a copy of his song," he gestures at the Discman, "I thought you might want to hear it?"

Apollo looks stunned. He doesn't move at all, just stares at the Discman.

"You've said you have never even seen a photo of him," Klavier continues nervously, "so I… I thought it would be nice if you would at least be able to listen to his voice…"

"Are you sure it's him?" Apollo whispers, so softly that Klavier can barely hear him.

"I'm sure, Schatz."

Slowly, ever so slowly, Apollo reaches for the earphones, staring at them like he has never seen such things before, and then putting them on. When he presses 'Play', his finger shakes slightly.

The soft sounds of a guitar fill his ears, then, someone starts to sing – and all at once, Apollo's throat feels constricted, because _it's really him_ , that soft, warm voice that sounds so achingly familiar and that, he realizes, has always been somewhere in his deepest, earliest memories – now it's clear, so clear, it's _his father_ , and when the song finishes, he feels like he could continue listening to his voice for years and still not have enough.

"Did you like it?"

Apollo cannot answer, cannot _speak_ , but Klavier seems to understand him anyway.


	10. Age Twenty-Four

**Age Twenty-Four**

He has certainly not expected to die today.

To be honest, the possibility that he could die has never even crossed his mind. It's foolish, he knows this now; as a revolutionary and number one of the country's most wanted criminals, he has led a very dangerous life after all – but after decades of going on risky missions and yet somehow managing to never get into real mortal danger, Dhurke has gotten used to always escaping unscathed.

Well, it seems that he has finally run out of luck. He has been so unbelievably blind. Minister Inga has wanted him dead for such a long time, he really should have anticipated that at some point, he would try to take matters into his own hands. He should have known something like this could happen someday.

But there is no use crying over spilled milk.

At least, there is no pain, as the only thing he feels right now is the warmth of his own blood flowing from the wounds on his chest and soaking his shirt. He doesn't want to die yet. He wants to see the revolution succeed, wants to see freedom return to the people of Khura'in. He wants to save Nahyuta whose soul is still in the clutches of the queen.

And he wants to see Apollo again. Apollo, whom he has not contacted for fifteen years – he so wishes he could tell him he loves him and how proud he is of him…

His vision dims around the edges, but Dhurke tries to fight it, though he knows that it will be in vain, that he cannot escape death anymore.

"Please, hang in there." The voice of the woman he has been trying to save sounds so far away now. "You can still make it…"

 _Apollo…_

Even breathing is becoming difficult now. Perhaps… perhaps there is a way to see him again… just one more time…

"P… Promise… Promise me… o-one thing, young lady," he manages to whisper. "I-It's about… my son."

They say that when you die, your whole life flashes before your eyes, but he finds that it is not true. The only image that rises before Dhurke Sahdmadhi's eyes as he draws his last breath is that of his sons, when they are little, running towards him with outstretched arms and faces shining with happiness.

* * *

Apollo is so exhausted that he feels like he could fall asleep on the spot. This whole day just feels like a crazy dream, really. This morning, Dhurke has suddenly showed up in the Wright Anything Agency – completely out of the blue, acting as if nothing has ever happened. And of course, Apollo has immediately been dragged right into one of his little "adventures": going to Kurain Village to find the Founder's Orb which supposedly could help Dhurke's revolution, finding out that the man who was supposed to give it to the Defiant Dragons has died the night before and the Founder's Orb has disappeared, doing a lot of investigation, arguing with a posh politician guy, and eventually going on a not-so-voluntary cave expedition which has led to Apollo nearly drowning.

The result of all of this? Tomorrow, he will be facing Mr. Wright in court. His own boss, Mr. Wright.

He sighs softly, leans back in his seat and watches the landscape roll past the window. They are on the train back to the city. Datz is staying in Kurain Village tonight in order to keep an eye on the politician, while Trucy has gone back to the city together with Mr. Edgeworth and Mr. Wright earlier this afternoon, still desperately trying to talk her father into calling the trial off again, so it is just Dhurke and him now.

It still feels so surreal. Though deeply buried underneath the bitter resentment towards Dhurke, there has always been a small part of Apollo that has secretly wished to see him again, just once more. Even though he has felt betrayed to no end, there have been a few moments when he'd think about what it would be like if he would meet his family again one day. At that time, he has of course imagined the worst: Dhurke and Nahyuta both being dismissive and cold, either ignoring him or pretending to not know him at all. As it turns out, he has only been half wrong with that.

Nahyuta has behaved pretty much how he imagined he would. The only thing Apollo hasn't been prepared for is how much it would hurt to hear him say such words.

" _I don't have a brother, Prosecutor Gavin."_

It has been pure coincidence that Apollo has heard him say it at all. He has been at the Prosecutor's Building to meet up with Klavier in order to discuss the evidence of a current case when, on his way to Klavier's office, he passed the slightly open door of another office, and, hearing Nahyuta's and Klavier's voices behind it, stopped to listen in. True, Nahyuta _has_ looked a bit horrified for a split second when Apollo has burst in right afterwards. But that has only been because he hasn't expected him to be there, and not because he regretted his words – he has made that very clear when they passed each other in a hallway the next day and he just looked right through him, stubbornly pretending that Apollo didn't exist.

And Dhurke… well, he thankfully still is the same old Dhurke, but his presence still feels foreign. It's almost as if there is an invisible barrier between them that hasn't been there when he was little. It is only natural that he feels so disconnected, Apollo supposes – after all, he hasn't seen Dhurke in fifteen years, and to be honest, even after everything that has happened today, there is still some distrust toward him left in Apollo. However, it somehow hurts – after all this time, he has finally been reunited with his family and yet, he cannot be happy about it, because there is so much distance between him and them that it doesn't really feel like they have been reunited at all.

And on top of all that, there is that trial tomorrow… Apollo bites his lip, trying to contain the anxiousness that rises within him. He really doesn't want to do this… if only there was another way…

"Are you alright, son?" he hears Dhurke ask.

"Huh? Y-Yeah, I'm fine." Apollo runs a hand through his hair. "Just worried about tomorrow."

"Ah." Dhurke suddenly looks a bit apologetic. "Apollo, I've been meaning to say… _nasai mian'ha._ I didn't want to get you into such a mess. I certainly did not imagine our little trip to Kurain Village to go this way."

"It's alright, it's not your fault."

"Mr. Wright is your boss, right? I really hope this dispute won't put your job in danger, son. I could always find another lawyer."

"Don't worry, Mr. Wright isn't like that. I'll be fine. It will all be fine. …I think."

His adoptive father doesn't look convinced at all.

"You can trust me on this," Apollo adds quickly. "I already have experience with a situation like this." He tries his best to sound confident, but the slight trembling in his voice gives him away. Fortunately, Dhurke doesn't comment on it, but instead asks: "You mean you already faced a superior of yours in court before, son?"

"Yeah, I have."

Apollo starts to feel cold as memories of the first time he has had to go up against a boss of him float through his head. Mr. Gavin's cool smile, his furious glare, the complete lack of any remorse in his eyes as he talks about his crimes, his insane _laugh_ at the end that has scared Apollo so much it has haunted him in his dreams for months… Apollo shivers slightly. Maybe that's the real reason why he is so scared of the upcoming trial against Mr. Wright – maybe he secretly fears that the second time of him facing a superior in court will end just like the first has.

Suddenly, he grows aware that Dhurke has been watching him closely the whole time he's been in his thoughts, and can probably also guess what those thoughts have been about.

"What happened back then, son?" he asks quietly.

Apollo shakes his head and looks out the window again. "Nothing. It's nothing."

He can still feel Dhurke's gaze on him, but his adoptive father doesn't press the matter any further.

They spend the rest of the train ride plus the walk from the station to where Apollo lives almost completely in silence. Upon arriving in his apartment, Apollo immediately disappears into his bedroom to change into clean and dry clothes. He still has to get used to his son being an adult, Dhurke muses while looking around the little flat. He somehow has never thought about that – that it would be a little shock to see the nine-year-old boy he remembers suddenly all grown up. He has grown into the very image of Jove, like Dhurke has expected, and he can still see traces of the child he has sent away so many years ago in his now adult son's features. But Apollo's eyes have lost the shine of curiosity and optimism they've always had when he has been little. Instead, they are serious and focused now, and also somewhat weary, like the eyes of someone who has led a hard life so far and has already been through painful losses. His apartment is very tidy though and overall, it looks like it's not being lived in very much. Apollo doesn't seem to spend much time here; maybe he is working very often and very long. Several framed photographs are hanging on the wall, a few older looking case files are lying on the small table, a guitar is leaned against the wall – Dhurke smiles at this, Apollo really is Jove's son through and through – , a small plant sits on the windowsill and next to it a small, old looking, wooden box which looks… kind of familiar, almost exactly like the music box he has given Apollo for his fifth or sixth birthday.

Dhurke crosses the room and carefully picks it up. It really _is_ the music box he has made for his son, he can clearly see the little dragon he has carved onto the cover. To think that his son has really held onto this for all those years…

Behind him, he hears a door open and Apollo comes walking back into the room, his arms laden with a bedsheet, a blanket and a pillow.

"I didn't know you kept this old thing all this time, son."

"Huh?" Apollo throws the sheet, blanket and the pillow onto the sofa and glances at the music box in Dhurke's hands. "Oh, that… yeah, I couldn't throw it away. It was the only thing I had left of… of Khura'in. And I still like to listen to the music." He bends down and pulls hard on the front of the couch, until it kind of extends itself into a small bed. It seems that in the States, they sell far more practical and useful couches than they do in Khura'in, Dhurke thinks, putting the box back onto the windowsill. "I believe I never told you, Apollo, but that song… it's the same one your father used to sing to you to put you to sleep."

Apollo looks at the wooden box thoughtfully. "I… I knew," he says softly. "Somehow, I always knew."

"He would be very proud of you." Dhurke glances over to the instrument leaning in the corner. "Especially if he would learn that you play the guitar."

Apollo follows his gaze. "Oh, that's not my guitar. It's my boyfriend's, he forgot it here. I can't play."

"Oh, I see… Well, Jove would be proud of you either way!" He grins. "And what was that about a boyfriend just now, son?"

Apollo's cheeks turn bright red and he quickly lowers his head. "N-Nothing."

"Oh come on, son, at least tell me his name. Or better, introduce me to him, I need to give him the If-you-break-my-son's-heart-I'll-kill-you-talk. Hah-ha ha ha ha ha!"

"Very funny," Apollo mutters under his breath. "Okay, fine, his name's Klavier. He's the prosecutor I told you about, the one that gave me the nickname ' _Herr Forehead_ '. But I'm not going to introduce you, at least not yet. He's away now anyway, visiting his aunt and uncle in Germany. But I have a photo of him." He walks over to the framed photographs hanging on the wall, Dhurke following him.

"That's him." Apollo points at one of the pictures. It shows him next to a tall, tan man with platinum blonde hair which is styled into a peculiar braid.

"Hm… well, he certainly looks like a rock star!"

"Yeah. But trust me, you don't want to hear his music, it's horrible."

"Is it? That's sad." Dhurke's gaze falls onto another picture where seemingly the same man, now also wearing glasses, is standing next to Apollo with an arm around his shoulders. Apollo looks a bit younger than in the other picture though.

"Is that him as well, son?"

Apollo tenses when he follows his gaze. "No, that's… That's my previous boss. The picture was taken about two years ago on the day I got my attorney's badge. That's the only reason I kept this, I think. Because of the memory of getting my badge."

Dhurke watches his son thoughtfully. His previous boss… so he must also be the one he's had to face in court. Apparently, something has happened with him, something Apollo obviously does not want to talk about. It cannot be something good then. But as much as Dhurke wants to find out what exactly that man has done, he doesn't want to force Apollo to talk about it. Instead, he points at another photograph.

"And who's that behind you and young Miss Trucy? He does resemble Mr. Wright quite a bit."

"It _is_ Mr. Wright, back when he was still unemployed. He lost his badge a few years back, but he has got it back since last year. Oh, and that's Athena." He points at another photo. "She's a co-worker of mine. You'll likely meet her tomorrow, she's going to assist me during the trial."

"I see. And who is that?" Dhurke points at a picture of Apollo arm in arm with a dark-haired young man wearing what looks like a spacesuit. "Is he an astronaut of some sort?"

"That's… that's Clay." There is a strange tone in Apollo's voice. "He's… my best friend. And… yes, he's an astronaut."

"Impressive! I would certainly like to meet him sometime."

Apollo gives a laugh – a laugh that sounds very forced, more like a supressed sob, really. "I'm afraid that won't be possible." He crosses his arms and bows his head a bit. "Clay's… Clay's gone to the Twilight Realm."

A cold feeling grabs Dhurke's heart. "You mean he's…?"

Apollo nods without meeting his gaze.

"But…" Dhurke glances at the photo again. "He looks so young, he's… was he sick or…?"

"He was murdered. About five months ago. Right… right before he was going to go to space for the first time."

"I… I'm so sorry…"

Dhurke looks at the picture, at the laughing, energetic-looking young man who has got an arm wrapped around the shoulders of a slightly younger Apollo who is also grinning from ear to ear. His best friend, dead, murdered only five months ago. Then, there's also his previous superior who too caused him pain in some way. And all this time, his son has been alone. Dhurke hasn't been there to give him strength and support he would have needed; he has _never_ been there. He has never been a true father to either of his sons. There are no words that could possibly express this deep regret he feels and has been feeling throughout the years, in the short moments his mind hadn't fully been consumed by revolution.

The revolution… his great big dream. He has dedicated half his life to it… throughout all these years, it has practically been the main thing he lived for, and yet, he has not realized even once how big the consequences of dedicating his heart and soul to the cause really are. Only now, he understands that with deciding to always put the revolution first, he has also subconsciously chosen to always put his family second. He has chosen to put the revolution above his children's wellbeing, he has chosen to send his only nine-year-old son to a strange and faraway country all on his own, and has kept putting off visiting him countless times, because the revolution has mattered more to him than keeping the promise he has made to Jove so many years ago: _"I'll look after him now."_ His entire life has consisted of wrong priorities.

Funny – he only realizes it now, after he has already died. Maybe that's the punishment of the Holy Mother for his selfishness in life: the agony of being faced with the pain he has brought the ones he loves with his wrong choices while knowing that he won't be able to set anything right ever again.

"You would have liked him." Apollo's voice tears him out of his thoughts. "Clay, I mean. I think you would have liked him a lot."

"I'm sure I would have."

Apollo gives him a small, hesitant smile.

"Son, I…" Dhurke clears his throat. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for… leaving you."

"You already apologized back when we were exploring the caves," Apollo says, frowning. "And I said it's fine."

"But it isn't. I sent you away without ever considering or thinking about what it might mean for you because apparently back then, it mattered more to me that you were safe, rather than that you were happy." Dhurke sighs. "You deserved a much better father."

Apollo is silent for a few moments. "So… you mean you really _did_ send me away because you thought Khura'in had become too dangerous?"

Dhurke frowns. "Of course, son. Why else?"

"I…" Apollo looks to the ground. "I thought… because you never came back for me, you know, I thought… never mind."

But Dhurke can already guess.

"Apollo," he says firmly. "I did _not_ send you away because I didn't want you anymore or because I wanted to get rid of you or something. How could I? You're my _son_."

And finally, that last doubt, and with it the invisible barrier that has been between them all day, crumble down. Without any more thought, Apollo throws himself into his father's arms, who holds him tightly, letting him bury his head against his chest. For a moment, it feels like he is a child again, running to Dhurke for comfort after having a horrible nightmare.

"I missed you," he mumbles.

"I missed you too, son," Dhurke replies, his voice almost sounding like it's on the verge of breaking. "So much."

Apollo wraps his arms tighter around him, clinging to him the same way he has done when he has been little, and Dhurke knows he must tell him the truth, knows that he must tell him that the man he is holding on to right now is nothing but a shadow of an already dead soul. But the thought of the pain that will be in his son's eyes if he tells him, the thought of the last hours he will be able to spend with him being filled with grief… no, he cannot do it. He cannot say it. It would destroy him.

Dhurke closes his eyes, already feeling regret rise in him at the selfishness of this last choice he will make in this world.


	11. Age Twenty-Five

**Age Twenty-Five**

It's as quiet and peaceful here as he remembers it to be. Amazingly, everything still looks the same: the meadows, the forest, the snowy mountaintops in the distance, the river… it's as if no time has passed at all. When he closes his eyes, he can almost hear Dhurke's voice again, calling for him and Nahyuta to come back inside because it's getting late.

Dhurke…

It's been almost two months, but the deep pain in his chest is still as fresh as it has been back then whenever he thinks about him. There are still times when he stares up into the night sky, wondering which one of the million lights up there is the one Dhurke has lit for him, Nahyuta and Rayfa. Sometimes, he finds himself standing in court, having to make a decision, and wondering what Dhurke would do in his place. It is still palpable, the hole he has left behind. He has been the only true connection he has had to this country, really. Sure, there is also Nahyuta… but somehow, it is difficult to reconnect with him. They've both changed quite a bit after all. And Rayfa… well, he barely knows her. And she's difficult. _Very_ difficult.

The grass rustles softly beneath his feet as he slowly walks down the meadow towards the river. Nothing has changed; the trees, the riverbank – everything still looks the same, like no time has passed at all. Apollo smiles a little when his gaze falls onto the rock he has climbed on that fateful day. It has looked huge to him back then, but now, he realizes how small it really is. It would be ridiculously easy to climb on it now, he thinks, and so he does – he carefully sets one foot before the other, avoiding the patches of moss, until he is standing on the exact same spot he has been standing on so many years ago. Below, the water is rushing, current as dangerous as ever, and he wonders if he has made the right decision in staying here, what Clay would say to him now if he could see him, what Dhurke would say if he knew how lonely he feels here.

It's strange – he has spent so many years in the US wishing he could return here, and now that he finally has, he wants nothing more but to leave again.

"Careful. Don't fall in again."

Apollo turns around. Nahyuta's standing there.

"Don't worry. I learned from my mistakes," he replies, carefully stepping down from the rock. "What brings you here?"

"I was looking for you. When you weren't in your office, I thought I might find you here. I wanted to wish you a happy birthday."

Apollo looks at him, befuddled. "A happy what?"

"It's the 14th of July," Nahyuta reminds him. "Your birthday."

"Oh… right. Well… thanks. Though we do not actually know when it is, do we? After all, my dad never told Dhurke my birthday."

"He didtell him you were born in July though, so the month is right. Dhurke only chose the day."

"Ah, I see." Apollo huffs when he realizes something. "Guess what, I think I already know why he chose the 14th."

"French Revolution," they say in unison, and then, they chuckle softly.

"Who knows, it might actually be today," says Nahyuta.

"Yeah…" Apollo scratches the back of his head. "That would be a crazy coincidence indeed."

For a moment or two, there is silence between them. Then, Nahyuta says: "I also wanted to invite you to the palace tonight. To celebrate a bit over dinner."

"I…" Apollo swallows. "That's very kind, but… I… I can't. Too much work. Sorry."

"I thought you were going to say that." Nahyuta sighs. "Apollo, I know something is wrong. You've been so… preoccupied lately."

"I'm fine," Apollo says.

"No, you're not. Forgive me, but I am not blind. I can see how you are avoiding us."

"I'm not – I'm not _avoiding_ you, I just – "

"But you are. Every time I invite you over, you come up with another excuse. I may not have seen you in a very long while, but I can still tell when you're lying, Apollo."

Apollo's fingers nervously start to play with his bracelet and he bites his lip. Curse Nahyuta and his ability to see right through him.

"Just tell me what is wrong, _ono'ro mit-sa_ ," Nahyuta says gently and for a brief second, Apollo sees the familiar older brother in his features again.

"I…" He desperately searches for words. "I can't explain. It's just that… I don't really like those dinners with your family. I'm out of place there."

Nahyuta raises an eyebrow. " _Your_ family? They're not just _my_ family, they're your family, too. They're our family. And you're not out of place, you're one of us."

Apollo shakes his head. "Maybe I was once, but now that Dhurke's gone… now that he's gone, I don't fit in anymore."

"That's not true – "

"But it is!" Apollo interrupts him, voice shaking. "I never realized it until now, but _Ata'oji_ was the one who was holding the whole family together the entire time, he was the one who made sure I always had a place here. It only worked because _he_ was there."

"I don't think this is true. Nothing has changed, Apollo – "

" _Everything_ has changed! Maybe you don't notice it because you still have your mother and sister, but I don't know them! I've never known them, Nahyuta. As far as I can tell, you and your mother are quite similar in character and therefore get along brilliantly, no matter how many years you haven't seen each other. Rayfa is also quite similar to you both and very familiar with Amara, and you all make a very happy family – but there is no place left for me." His eyes are starting to burn, but he refuses to let the tears come out – he has cried enough over it last night, while being on the phone with Klavier no less and probably worrying him to bits.

"Yes, there is," Nahyuta says quietly. "You may not know it or notice it, but you're so much like _Ata'oji_ , and – "

" – and _Ata'oji_ is gone," Apollo finishes. "Do you see my problem now, 'Yuta? He was the only one who truly understood me, who made me fit in. You still have your mother and sister you can relate to, but I have no one now."

"You have me."

"Yes, but… we haven't seen each other for years. We don't really know each other anymore."

"Well, then _let_ us get to know each other again," Nahyuta says fiercely. "You always hide, Apollo. At least give it a try. Come to dinner tonight, please."

Apollo takes a shaky breath. "You don't understand. I don't belong there. I'm not royalty, I feel absolutely uncomfortable in this palace, it… it's just not _me._ I'm used to… to wearing second-hand clothes, to living in dingy apartments, to worrying about how I'm supposed to pay for a new suit because I haven't got enough money. I'm used to a completely different kind of life, Nahyuta."

"Alright. If you don't feel comfortable at the palace, then how about we have dinner in a tavern instead? Just you and me and Datz. Would you like that better?"

"I – I don't want to hold you back from your mother and – "

"Would you like that better?" Nahyuta repeats, more slowly and firmly.

"I… yes. I think I would."

"It's settled then." Nahyuta takes a step forward and lays a hand on his shoulder. "I do not want you to feel out of place. You're not. And we'll get through this together."

"A dragon never yields," Apollo mumbles, and Nahyuta smiles. "Exactly."

"That reminds me…" Apollo starts rummaging through his pocket. "I've wanted to give this to you for quite some time now, but somehow never managed to. Here."

He pulls out a wooden figurine and places it into his brother's hand. Nahyuta's eyes widen as he turns the hand-carved dragon in his hand, examining it from all angles.

"I made this when I was about eleven," Apollo says. "Back then, I still thought Dhurke would come pick me up any time, so I made this as a birthday present for you. It's not very good, I'm afraid, but – "

Before he can finish the sentence, he finds himself engulfed in a tight hug.

Apollo freezes. Nahyuta is not one to show affection in that way, he's barely hugged him even when they were both little. He has never realized how much he has missed it though; the feeling of being hugged by a sibling, his older brother. Tentatively, he leans into the embrace and smiles as he remembers something.

"Love you, 'Yuta," he says; the same words he has also said that day when thanking his older brother for jumping into the river after him and trying to save him. And Nahyuta apparently remembers as well, because he replies: "Love you too, _ono'ro mit-sa._ "

They stay like that for quite some time, unspoken things that have been between them for so long being put into the embrace instead of being spelled out.

 _I missed you. – I missed you too._

 _Am I still your brother? – You'll always be._

 _Forgive me for being so cold when we saw each other again in the US. – It's alright._

Eventually,Nahyuta pulls back. "Would you like to pay a visit to Father's grave together? We can visit your dad afterwards as well, if you like."

Apollo nods. "Yeah. I would like that."

"Oh, I almost forgot…" Nahyuta lets the wooden dragon slide into his pocket and pulls out a letter. "This arrived for you today. Oh, and next time, Ga'ran loyalists decide to break into your office, I don't want to hear it from Datz. I want you to tell me _yourself_. Understood?"

Apollo pointedly avoids his brother's piercing gaze and takes the letter Nahyuta is holding out to him. The envelope is quite thick and heavy – it must be a very long letter – and the handwriting is one Apollo has never seen before. The sender is one Thalassa Gramarye – a relative of Trucy's perhaps? Apollo frowns, carefully putting it into his pocket. He'll give it a thorough read later.

"Are you coming?" calls Nahyuta who has already started walking back towards the old little house. Suddenly, Apollo notices a large blue butterfly sitting on the lowest branch of one of the nearby trees.

Ata'oji.

His phone beeps with a message from Klavier.

 _Happy birthday! Are you feeling a bit better today, Schatz?_

 _Thanks_ , Apollo types back. _And yes, I'm fine!_

He throws a last glance at the butterfly and then starts running after his brother. "Hey, wait up!"

Because he _will_ be fine. They'll figure everything out eventually.

A dragon never yields after all.

* * *

 **A/N:** **Alright, we've finally reached the end of this story! I want to give a big thank you to everyone who favourited, followed or reviewed; I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!**


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